She gripped my upper arms with her clawlike fingers and wrenched me off her body. “Pull it together, May Bennett,” she hissed into my face, her eyes full of cold fury. “We do not fall apart.” She gave me a little shake. “Do you understand me?” I nodded and sucked in the rest of my tears, focusing on the pain of her sharp nails digging into my bare flesh instead of the greater pain that lay inside me.

“You will go back out there and face your sister with strength. Then you will help me pack up and leave. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” I whispered against her wall of hostility.

My compliance caused her expression to soften, and she finally pulled me into a hug. “That’s my good girl. We’ll get through this, I promise. Just follow my lead, and it will all be fine.” I nodded my head against her shoulder. She gave me a pat on the back and then wriggled away, pushing herself up off the floor.

Grabbing a washcloth from the side of the tub, she tossed it at me. “Clean yourself up. You have vomit in your hair.” One hand on the doorknob, she turned back. “And hurry. The sooner we get off the island, the better.”

The memory is an uncomfortable one, with too many loose ends. Why did we rush away, and where did my father go? Why did we never come back? The questions poke at the memory buried deep down, and I can feel it stir. I bring the fading on myself, wanting to return to the safety of the nothingness.

JUNE

Something jolts me awake. I have the sense of someone else being in the cottage. Moving from my dream world into the real world, I’m not sure what’s fact and what’s fiction. There’s total darkness all around me, and I have no idea where I am. It’s the smell that grounds me. I’m at Avril Island.

“Hello?” I call into the darkness, feeling as though someone might just answer me back. Silence is my reply, so I decide the feeling of company must just be remnants of a dream. Feeling around, I discover I’m on the couch in the living room. Some details from the end of my day are fuzzy—too much wine and not enough food, a common combination for me these days.

As I rise into a sitting position, cold air brushes across my bare shoulders. I fell asleep in my wet bathing suit, wrapped in my damp towel. My bones have absorbed the dampness, and I’m stiff and chilled. The air in the cottage has gone cool with the disappearance of the sun.