I tucked the manila envelope into my purse, thanked him politely, as I’d been taught to do, and then left his office. The world narrowed into a slim, silent tunnel, only expanding again with the beep of my car door unlocking. Inside smelled of the banana I’d eaten on the way to the appointment and was hot and stuffy from the early spring sun beating through the windshield.

The leather upholstery was warm against the back of my thighs as I sat in the driver’s seat staring straight ahead—a little vessel of the familiar, which slowly helped to bring me back to reality.

I had to work hard to hold back the violent rage that was building. My mother had said she’d taken care of it. She’d lied. She often lied. I really couldn’t understand why she hadn’t told me about Avril Island before she died. It was like some sick joke she’d waited to play on me—waited to unleash until she was gone and didn’t have to deal with any of it herself. I’d spent years trying to escape that part of my life, and she’d dropped it right back into my lap.

The smell of rotten banana, combined with the heat of the car and my roller coaster of emotions, brought on a surge of nausea. I opened my door and swung my legs out, taking deep breaths of fresh air. I grabbed the banana peel, threw it onto the black pavement, and rolled my window down before shutting myself back in the car.

Funnily enough, there were no tears. Me, who cried at the drop of a dime—I felt only empty inside. It might have been my fight-or-flight impulse. I wanted to protect June from everything she didn’t know about our parents, but mostly from what she didn’t know about me. I’d never hated my mother more than in that moment.

I reached for my phone, glad when it went to message. If my sister had heard me, she’d have known there was something I was hiding, just out of sight, tucked sloppily somewhere around my rib cage. She’d have heard the flutter in my voice, felt the restraint of my vocal chords, and then demanded to know what was keeping the real me from her. June never accepted anything but all of me.

I’m going to be a bit late for dinner. The appointment went longer than I thought, and I have to do a few things before I can come by. Should be there by seven instead of six. Love you.