“Do you?” I joke, because there are definitely pieces of this trip that are a blur. We’d gone to New York right after we graduated college and spent the week getting drunk and sightseeing. We’d met up with some friends from college but for the most part it was just the three of us. That’s how it was for so long.

“The Three Musketeers in New York.” He runs his hand over the frame. Kevin had proposed to Michelle our senior year and was planning to get married the following year. He’d already asked me to be their best man and I remember Michelle crying when she got drunk that it wasn’t fair that I couldn’t stand on her side too. “This trip was when Michelle and I decided to make you our first child’s godfather.”

Shit. He suspects something. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I can still remember her words clearly. ‘A baby is going to be the best part of you and me, and our friendship with Jacob is one of the best parts of us. He has to be our baby’s godfather.’”

“Kev—” I start and he turns his gaze to look at me.

“Is there something…” He puts a hand over his eyes. “Never mind. I’m fucking losing it. I’m going to head out.”

“You sure? I know you came over to hang out and then we didn’t even—”

“Yes, because my child is evidently in a crisis and ran to you.” He jokes but I can hear the hurt in his voice and maybe something else that he’s never used towards me.

“Kev, it’s not like that. She called me and I think she’s in shock.”

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

Words come out but they are different ones entirely. “But I was actually thinking I could come by tomorrow? Maybe in the afternoon?”

“You make plans to come to my house now? Usually, you just show up and let yourself in even if we’re not home.” Kevin stares at me incredulously.

“Sorry for asking?”

“You don’t usually ask.” This is the first time I don’t think I haven’t been able to get a read on Kevin. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. He’s quiet and it reminds me of a ticking time bomb. It’s faint and that quiet noise is the only warning you have that something’s about to explode.

Chapter Twenty-One

Kisses down my neck and across my cheek rouse me out of a deep sleep and I’m pulled to a hard chest. I snuggle against it, as I’m straddling the faint line of sleep and awareness when I hear his words in my ear. “I love you so much.”