He at least has the decency to look contrite and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Whitney.” I don’t respond. I just let those three words sink into my skin. “Can you forgive me for doing that to you? To us?”

“Even if I can, it doesn’t change anything,” I tell him. He sits down on my bed and he pats the space next to him and I shake my head. “No.”

He lets out a sigh and looks up at me with the saddest blue eyes. “Fine. Whitney you were nineteen. In your second year of undergrad and your whole life ahead of you…”

I sigh. “The age argument is tired Jacob, try again.”

“We weren’t ready for each other,” he tells me honestly. “Call bullshit if you want but there’s a huge difference between you three years ago and now. I can tell in the ten minutes you’ve allowed me to be around you tonight. There is a difference between being nineteen and twenty-two and it’s not just your ability to legally consume alcohol. You’re different.”

“I’m happy.”

“You were happy being with me. Don’t try to tell me otherwise. I would have been prepared to tell your parents if I felt you were ready to be with me.”

“EXCUSE ME?” I shout before clasping a hand over my mouth. I shut my eyes, hoping I didn’t draw much attention to us from the party down below. “I begged you not to go. To let me come with you. To be with you. I was ready to tell my parents. I was ready for the fallout. You’re really trying to put this on me?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Not at all. I take full responsibility for hurting you and everything that transpired. I ended things and then I just left you. I just… I knew that if I stayed, I’d never be able to get over you. You would never be able to get over me. It would have been hard for both of us. But I truly did think it was for the best.” He gets off the bed and moves toward me. “I was scared of what all of it meant. My feelings for you. Your feelings for me. And yeah, I was a little worried about what your parents would think because as your mother so eloquently reminded us not long ago, I was the second person to hold you after you were born. And then I was in love with you and I didn’t know how to explain what changed and how you weren’t the same little Whitney that I taught how to ride a bike. I didn’t think we could make it work. I panicked, alright?”

I’ve never known Jacob to lie to me so I’m sure that he was thinking all of these things way back when, but what’s the point of telling me all of this now?

“So, what’s all this now? You thought I’d wait around for you to stop being scared of my dad? Whose… and if you repeat this I’ll deny it, ass you could kick by the way if he threw the first punch.”