Chapters (40)
- Cover
- Also by Saumya Dave
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Acknowledgments
- Readers Guide
- Discussion Questions
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
“She is,” Zack agrees as he pictures his wife sitting across from one of her therapy patients, untangling their destructive thoughts or teaching them how to notice patterns in their behavior, all while another part of her brain is wondering how she can improve the system at large. Zack always wanted someone ambitious but never imagined he’d find a woman like Suhani, someone who is constantly thinking and working and expanding. When Suhani talks about the changes she wants in medicine and mental healthcare, she comes to life. Zack’s sisters call her a “petite powerhouse.”
“She’s even gotten my mom to exercise more, live a little,” he says. “She pushes me at work and buys me these books about parent abandonment so I can process what happened with my dad.”
Natasha nods and then her eyes shift back and forth, as if she’s sifting through something mentally. “I didn’t think of this until you asked, but when she was in med school, we all wondered if something happened with her. She suddenly became so much more closed off and intense . . . until she met you.”
“Really? What do you mean?” Zack says.
“I don’t know. It was a vibe. I always wondered if Roshan had something to do with it. There was this weekend when I visited her and something just gave me a bad feeling. Then I told myself I was just thinking and worrying too much, like my mom. I asked Suhani about it a bunch of times and she always said she was just stressed.”
“Hm,” Zack says. His thoughts jump back to the Atlanta Memorial reception, where Roshan showed up out of nowhere, and the conversation at Highland Bakery, when Suhani made their relationship sound inconsequential.
“But she’s always stressed, you know?” Natasha shrugs. “I’ve never understood how someone can be so confident when it comes to doing things for other people but then so unsure when it comes to herself.”
“I say that to her all the time!” Zack exclaims. Sometimes, when he looks at his wife, he sees a scared little girl alongside a strong woman. He’s intrigued by all the versions of her, all the contradictions that make her who she is. Even though his mom always envisioned that he’d end up with a nice Jewish girl, he was never nervous about introducing Suhani to her. He knew she’d fall in love with her. Everyone does.
“Maybe y’all just need a reset. You both work so much and it has to be easy to just slip into this inertia-driven daily routine. Maybe go do something different together.”