“Then enjoy it. I know you love hosting, but I also know you sometimes . . . well, don’t,” Devi says. “It causes all this stress and pressure and there’s barely any space for enjoyment.”

It’s one of those direct statements that can only be made by a friend who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth. Your truth. Bina tells herself she cherishes having people over, but, often, the second the guests leave, she’s surprised to find herself both drained and relieved. Sometimes, she doesn’t even know if she really loves things or if she’s convinced herself to love them.

After she and Devi hang up, Bina removes onions and garlic from the fridge to get a head start on dinner. She chops the vegetables with a freshly sharpened knife, then RSVPs to three weddings they’ve been invited to, texts Deepak’s aunt in a group thread to wish her happy birthday, calls Barbara to say hi, then makes a grocery list.

I never feel like I can just sit, she thinks as she focuses on all the things she should be doing, all the minutiae she does that ensure their lives run smoothly.

As she’s scanning the pantry for things she needs to stock up on, Devi’s advice to enjoy this free time crystallizes in her mind. She didn’t know how to tell Devi that it’s not as though Deepak or the kids even tell her to do all these things. It’s all self-imposed. Somewhere along the way, she internalized the idea that if she wasn’t struggling or tired or, better yet, struggling and tired, she wasn’t doing her part.

But Devi had a point. Why doesn’t Bina just take advantage of the unexpected free afternoon? Why does she rarely give herself the luxury to not be doing something for others?

Maybe because, outside of Devi, she doesn’t see any woman give herself that. The world upholds selfless mothers, even if they’re angry and exhausted. Bina still thinks of Ma drinking chai and eating Parle-G biscuits and saying, This is just how it is. You’ll get used to it.