But now Natasha sees that in the back-and-forth web of criticism and companionship that she and Mom have always been caught in, she never thought to consider the life Mom left behind, the parts of herself she gave up along the way. Mom didn’t strike her as a woman who ran away from anything.

“It must have been so difficult.” Dr. Eze gazes at Mom. “Leaving your family, your career, your country.”

“It was. I don’t know what I would have done without Deepak and then the kids.” Tears pool in Mom’s eyes. Before she goes back to her chair, she reaches for a tissue from the box on the table behind her.

Dr. Eze looks at the genogram she gave them a copy of at the beginning of the appointment. “You and Deepak went through things that were traumatic, many of which forced you to suppress your emotions just to get through. Many children of immigrants inherit that trauma in various forms. Some of them want lives that look nothing like their parents’ as a way to protect themselves.”

Natasha is grateful that their therapist gets it. One of her parents’ fears about coming to family therapy was that their provider wouldn’t understand the cultural context of their situation. Even Dr. Jenkins used to tell Natasha to stop talking to her family if they were bothering her so much. Natasha didn’t know how to explain that it just didn’t work that way in desi families. Like so many things, Alexis was spot-on about this.

“I think I tried to protect myself that way,” Suhani says. “I saw my mom being resentful and just doing things for others for years. She pushed me to make sure I’d be successful, never dependent on anyone. And I thought if I went out with a guy as different from my dad as possible, I’d make sure to have as different of a marriage from my parents as possible. But at the same time, I chose my ex because he checked off all those approval boxes: doctor, Indian, et cetera. So even though I thought I was following my own path, I was really still giving in to these expectations. And then that person didn’t make me happy, at all.”

She glances at Zack, who has been quiet this entire appointment, and wants to tell him how much she appreciates his being here. His wavy brown hair is grown out more than usual and splays out in every direction. If it wasn’t for his coral button-down shirt and dark jeans, he would look like he’d just woken up.