“I guess.” Natasha draws an imaginary circle on the rug with her foot. “I realized that for most of my life, I never felt like I fit in with my family. Sure, I was popular in school and always had friends, but there was always this part of me that felt like an outcast. One of the reasons I love writing comedy is because it lets me make something out of that feeling, something meaningful. But over the past months, when everything fell apart, I was reminded of how different I am from my family. Certain things seem to affect me more than they do my brother and sister. And I don’t want the stuff a girl my age, from my type of family, is supposed to want. I’ve felt like they’d just be better off without me because all I do is cause problems.”

“Has anyone said something along those lines?” Dr. Eze asks.

Mom starts to speak but Dr. Eze gently says, “Let’s hear Natasha out.”

Dad puts his hand on Mom’s arm and whispers, “Remember we talked about this.”

Even though Mom nods, Natasha can tell she’s practically about to burst from having to keep so many things to herself.

“No, none of them has ever said they’d be better off without me,” Natasha says. “It’s just the way I’ve always felt. On the psych unit, I realized I’ve been living a double life, in a way. Pretending to be fine on the outside—especially to them—but hating myself on the inside. I guess I got used to it. I even pretended to be premed my first two years of college! It got everyone off my back for a little while, reassured them that I was doing what they thought was acceptable.”

“So you lied to make things easier?” Dr. Eze doesn’t ask the question with judgment but more with curiosity.

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve gotten used to lying, in a way. I know that sounds bad but it’s become default for me to keep parts of myself in hiding. I assumed I’d always lie to my family . . . forever. Because if I didn’t, I’d be out.”

“It’s understandable to feel hurt if you think that the people you love don’t appreciate you for who you are. And holding on to all that and lying had to be really tiring,” Dr. Eze says.

“It was. It is. So exhausting,” Natasha says.

“Anyone have thoughts on what Natasha’s shared?” Dr. Eze asks.

“I’m so sorry you’ve felt not good enough and accepted. That’s not fair and you shouldn’t have had to go through that,” Suhani says. “And I know this might not be what you expect, but we get it. We really do. Anuj and I have felt that way at times, too.”