Chapters (40)
- Cover
- Also by Saumya Dave
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Acknowledgments
- Readers Guide
- Discussion Questions
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
“Excuse you, is right,” Devi says as she adjusts the gold pendant on her necklace. “You’re still so scared about what people will think.”
“No, I’m not!”
Devi tilts her head and gives Bina a look that says, Don’t bullshit me. “The Bina I knew was obsessed with her husband and didn’t give a rat’s ass about what anybody would say when she decided to run away with him and ruin her relationship with her parents.”
“That’s not entirely true,” Bina interjects. “I did care.”
“Of course you cared about your parents’ feelings. But you still did what you had to do. And you were unapologetic about it. Now you’re getting upset over some patriarchal bullshit and worried what a group of women in your living room are going to think about it. A group of women who are here because they value you and what you have to say!”
“It just feels wrong to be doing something like this”—Bina motions to the living room, where everyone has been waiting to start the meeting—“when my child is suffering. It feels as though I’ve done so much wrong for things to end up this way.”
“We’ve all made mistakes as parents. Sure, Natasha has struggled. But let me tell you something about her.” Devi’s voice is gentle but firm. “She’s a fighter. Why do you think she wants to figure things out in her own way? Does that remind you of anyone? Someone who, I don’t know, told several rich, arrogant guys to screw themselves because she was going to marry this sensitive sweetheart?”
Bina nods, but inside, she looks back at her younger self and wonders, Did I really do that? Was I really that bold and full of hope?
“Your kids are loving, empathetic, strong kids,” Devi says. “And there’s a reason you’re going to go in there and get this done. You needed fulfillment from someplace other than your family. You always did. And as much as you tried to ignore it or convince yourself that you’d find enough by being everything to everyone at home, it wasn’t enough for you. And that’s okay.”
Bina’s stomach seesaws. “Then why doesn’t it feel okay?”
“The guilt,” Devi says. “You’ve been carrying around so much guilt ever since you had to let go of acting. It’s as though you think you have to suffer in some way. But you don’t, Bina. You really don’t.”