“I don’t even know what I’m thinking.” Zack shakes his head as though he just woke up from a bad dream. “I get why you wouldn’t tell me about an abortion. That’s your business. Of course I wish you felt like it was something you could tell me if it hurt you so much, but I get it.”

Suhani bites her bottom lip. “I wanted to tell you, so many times. But there’s a lot that went on in that relationship that I haven’t been able to ever talk about, with anyone.”

As much as she’d like to believe that she kept it a secret so she could move forward, a part of her knows that it was less about her resilience and more about wanting to believe she was a good girl. She never really let herself embrace her darkest parts, so how could she trust the man she loves to do so?

“But you didn’t even think to mention how important your relationship with your ex was?” Zack says. “You made it seem like it wasn’t even that serious. Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know.” Suhani’s hands are shaking. “It was the hardest time in my life. I almost dropped out of med school. And I’ve spent years trying to put everything with Roshan behind me. And then when things got serious between you and me, I never figured out the right way to tell you. I guess I could always see my life with or without kids, but after I got pregnant, I didn’t know if I ever wanted to be again.”

“So you thought it was better to just not mention any of that? Even after we got married? I used to ask you, again and again, why talking about kids was so difficult for you. And it has to do with Roshan, of all people? The guy has an office just one floor below yours now!” Zack shakes his head as a look of recognition appears on his face.

“I know.” Suhani stares into her glass, the mint-green cocktail now unappealing. “He never knew. He still doesn’t. When I saw him today, I al—”

“Wait, what? You saw him?”

“After my meeting.” Suhani’s voice shakes. “I went to his office. He’s one of the faculty members who has a vote in who becomes a chief.”

“Funny you didn’t mention that when I asked about your day,” Zack says.

“I was going to. I promise. I’ve been wanting to since we first saw him,” Suhani says. “I guess him coming back just brought up a lot of things I thought I had processed.”