Chapters (40)
- Cover
- Also by Saumya Dave
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Acknowledgments
- Readers Guide
- Discussion Questions
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
Even though everything seems back to normal on the surface, Natasha can tell her friends are making sure to keep their updates upbeat and light. She takes it all in as though she’s suspended above the table. One part of her wants to have fun, be rooted in the moment, and pretend everything is normal. But a bigger part is on the verge of panic, a panic that presses on her sternum and makes it hard to breathe. All her friends have their shit together. They’re on paths that guarantee health insurance and a solid future, while all she has is a smothering sense of uncertainty. There should be a word for feeling happy for your friends while wondering when you’ll be able to feel that same happiness for yourself. Usually, being around the girls makes Natasha feel free and understood. But today, it just reminds her of how lonely she really is. She doesn’t truly belong anywhere.
They get the check, then walk around Krog Street Market for another hour. When they stop for chocolate croissants, Ifeoma notes, “Another reason why Miranda is the best Sex and the City character. She actually eats food.” The rest of them murmur in agreement.
After they eat, Natasha climbs into her used silver Camry and reclines the seat. Her car smells like weed no matter how many times she has it cleaned. Not that she can afford that now anyway. The money in her account dwindles by the day even though she isn’t doing much. Maybe Zack can help her out. He’s lent her money before and not told Suhani.
She turns on the air-conditioning and points the vents toward her eyes. The cold air jolts her awake. An old R & B song is on the radio and takes her back to college, the last time she remembers being close to happy. Will she ever feel that way again? That carefree and full of hope for the future? Why is it so hard for her to just be content?
The song ends and she’s back in the present. It’s funny how some parts of her life are measured more with soundtracks than with time.
Just as she’s about to pull out of the parking lot, she sees a couple walk toward the entrance to Krog Street Market.
But on second glance, it isn’t just any couple.
It’s Karan with another girl.