Luckily, the waiter interrupted to take our order. “I’ll have that champagne drink to start.” I piped up. Best to get the liquor to the table quickly.

Mom ordered a rum and Coke. “Mom,” I said, “you should try this champagne cocktail drink they make. It’s with pureed raspberries and it’s so good—it’s what they’re famous for.”

Mom made a face. “I can’t take that sweet stuff. I’ll just have my rum and Coke.”

Carolyn had the same and Dave stuck with water. I was so glad he was choosing to be sober for the entire afternoon.

The drinks arrived and Mom got in her groove, sipping on her rum and Coke, craning her neck to stare at each arriving brunch guest, and giving us her take on the movie business. “Anyway, back to the actor thing,” she declared, “I was on an airplane and some movie came on with that woman from Will & Grace and she sure did look funny. Her nose is very big. I just don’t think her face is made for the big screen.

It wasn’t even made for the very small screen on the airplane.” Mom cackled a bit and slapped Carolyn’s forearm. “But I guess it didn’t stop her from being successful,” Mom continued. The rum and Coke was drained from the glass and now she was gnawing on the straw. She got the waiter’s attention and ordered just a plain Coke, for which I was grateful. I could tell she was feeling very relaxed.

“What I’m saying, Dave,” my mother announced, “is that some people who choose to keep their features can be successful to some extent.”

She’s not doing this. My heart started to beat out of my linen Trina Turk top. I can’t believe she’s going to do this. Mom caught herself, but then shot me a look letting me know that, yes, she was going to do this.

“I mean, Dani chose to change the only feature she got from me.” Mom ran a French-tipped finger along the bridge of her nose. She opened her mouth to continue, but I cut her off.

“Okay, I know where this is going.” Glancing at Dave, I took a deep breath. “I had a deviated septum problem and decided to have surgery to fix it. It was a medical condition.” I said this last part firmly, glaring at Mom to keep her trap shut.

“She snored,” Mom interrupted, chuckling to Carolyn, and giving Dave a knowing look. Dave looked totally absorbed in this story, which worried me. He took his left hand from my thigh, where he had placed it for moral support when we sat down, and reached for his ice water.

“Really?” he asked.