“No. There is nothing wrong with her—she has a good sense of humor and is tall like you—it’s just that I don’t think it’s fair to her. I think instead I may marry my cousin’s niece. She is slightly cross-eyed, but very nice and pretty despite that.”

My head is heavy, as though it may just plop down on the table in exhaustion. Thoughts getting closer; familiar comments making me giddy.

“Thank you for the ice cream,” I tell him.

“Thank you for the company.”

We walk out to the car without saying a word.

“What’s the matter, Hala?”

I don’t say anything. I feel my eyes burning and when I get in the car I stare out the window.

But instead of going home, Sharif drives through neighborhoods, then past them a little way up a hill to where there are no houses and you can see empty land in the distance. He stops the car.

“All this time, I thought you knew. I’ve been waiting for your return,” he says after a moment or two of silence. “Your father insisted that you stay the summer because he wanted me to marry you, though now that you are here, I disagree with his decision.”

I turn to him even though my face is burning, incredulous that I have been the subject of their conversations, that plans are being made and changed about my life and I had not the slightest inkling any of it was going on.

“If I were a selfish man, I would make you love me.”

I feel my insides are being hollowed out. “Then you are a selfish man,” I say in such a quiet voice I don’t even know if he will hear me.

Because it is summer and afternoon, the seats are warm and the dry air is quiet around us, away from prying eyes and scandal seeking tongues.

“I cannot ask you to love me. I am an older man and I cannot give you what you need. I would always be good to you, I would always love you, but I am too old to expect that what I have to offer you is enough to keep you happy.”

The sky above the brown hills is hazy and hot.

“That is silly,” I say with my heart pounding everywhere. “So many marriages are between young girls and older men. Even you will marry someone who is just as young as me or even younger.”

I can’t believe I am talking about this as though it’s the most normal thing, that I’ve spent the entire summer with a man who loves me and that I was oblivious.