“Fucking lazy bitch,” Nicki says, spinning the top of the pepper grinder wildly.

With her eyes still on her phone, London makes a face. “Ugh, have some class, Mom.”

“Oh, what? You and your aunt are best friends now, huh? You’ve forgotten how she just left without even saying goodbye to you?”

“No,” says London. “I just think you need to get over yourself.”

Katriina, slicing a loaf of French bread at the counter, holds her breath, waiting for the explosion.

But Nicki just laughs. “Well, I’m not the only one,” she says, flicking the side of London’s head. London bats her hand away, her eyes still on her phone, but she is smiling.

Nothing about Nicki and London’s relationship makes any sense to Katriina, but maybe it’s just a mother-daughter thing. If this one is a girl, Katriina won’t know what to do with her.

Damn it. An unexpected surge of grief overwhelms her as she realizes her mistake, a howl boiling up in her lungs. She tries to swallow it down, but she feels herself choking, unable to breathe. Out of sheer panic, she glides the knife across the top of her finger. Immediately her airway opens, and she sucks a quick, hot breath through her teeth. “Ouch,” she says loudly, dropping the knife.

“Holy shit, Katriina,” Nicki says. “Be careful.”

At that moment, Finn appears in the doorway. “Sorry, guys,” she says, rubbing her hands over her face. “It was an early flight.”

The cut on her finger now blooming with blood, Katriina abruptly crosses to the sink and turns the water on, watching the blood diluting as it runs down the drain. Behind her, she hears Shawn’s voice say, “Finnie.” She turns around just in time to see him wrapping her in a hug.

Finn presses her forehead into his shoulder. “Hi,” she says.

Katriina turns off the tap and reaches for the paper towel, trying to pull off a piece with one hand while holding the other up in the air to keep the blood from dripping, trying not to watch Shawn and Finn’s oddly intimate embrace. She will never get used to the way Shawn is around Finn. Maybe if she was his real sister she would feel differently, but Finn was already ten before he came into her life. Still, she sees that he has that same inherent understanding of Finn that Katriina does with Hanna, that knowing without having to speak, the raised eyebrow, the twitch of the lip. He will never know Katriina the way he knows Finn. It doesn’t make Katriina jealous – it doesn’t. But unless you’re related to her, you’re not supposed to have that sort of bond with a woman other than your wife.

Of course, Shawn would say he is related to her. And Katriina wouldn’t argue because she is not a horrible person. Still.