“This is my chance for a fresh start, a new start,” Smith says, quieter. “Nan and Pops agreed to move us across the city. A new school, a new life. No one will know my sad story.” In a whisper, he finishes, “Not even me.”

A hiccup sound escapes my younger self, as if she’s trying to hold back a sob. I’m still struggling to follow what’s happening, why Smith wouldn’t know his own story. But then, Riley steps forward, his face grim as Smith beckons him over.

“Please, Theo,” my younger self says. “Please don’t do this. To you. To me. To us.” She hiccups again. “You’re my best friend. We’ve known each other forever. You’re grumpy and your bedroom is always messy and you hate being woken up before your alarm. You push your glasses up your nose way too often and you can be so snarky that people think you’re mean, and I don’t like any of those things, but I still love you, because you’re my best friend.” She clutches at him as Riley arrives beside the bed. “How can you do this? Won’t you … Won’t you miss me?”

The tears are pouring down her face now. Riley looks like he’s in pain, like he wants to pick her up and carry her from the room. But he doesn’t—he stands there, waiting.

“That’s the thing, Lyssie,” Smith says, still whispering. He uses his free hand to wipe her tears, which soak straight into his bandages. “I can’t miss what I don’t remember.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach as finally I begin to understand. The real Smith is shaking like a leaf beside me, and I unconsciously hold his hand tighter. His return grip all but crunches my bones.

My younger self seems to give up on Smith and turns to Riley, begging him, “Please, Riles, don’t do this.”

Riley’s jaw clenches visibly and he doesn’t look at her when he says, “It’s his choice, Lyss. His and his grandparents’. They made me promise. It’s the only way I was able to bring you here to say—to say goodbye. By agreeing to … this.”

She turns back to Smith and tries again, “Please, Theo. Don’t do this.”

His gray eyes remain haunted, but they’re soft when he says, “I’d miss you every day if I could. But that’d hurt so much that I’m—I’m glad to forget. Please, Lyss. Let me have this. Let me have a new beginning.”

She’s beyond words now, sobbing quietly as she looks at him, but then she yanks her hand from his and jumps to her feet, running from the room.