Eli swipes at his face. “I looked again, you know, years later. I remembered the toys and the candy and stuff, like it was a dream. I looked in there, but he never kept anything like that there again. So I told myself it had never been there at all.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Eli.”

We both look at Christian. He hasn’t moved since he fell over. The blood is no longer spreading.

The low, long sound of mourning that issues out of my throat does not sound like my own voice, but I can feel it tearing up from my chest and out of my lips. I keen, rocking back and forth over Christian’s body. I can’t touch him, I won’t touch him, so my hands hover over his back and lower, down to his ankles, where at last I put my hands on the filthy kitchen floor between his splayed feet. I hunch over, fighting the sobs.

“Mom, please, don’t.”

“I loved him.” My voice is a raw whisper. “I loved him, and I killed him. What are we going to do?”

Eli moves around the body to look out the sliding glass doors and the hole in the backyard. The septic company is coming in two days to crush the tank, fill the space with concrete and cover it all over. With the house hooked up to the city sewer, there will never be any reason for anyone to dig up the decommissioned tank.

“We bury him.”

EPILOGUE

“I’M HEADING OUT for that meeting, but I’m going to grab food on the way back. Do you want me to bring you something?” Lisa’s cream suit sets off her dark skin and hair, but it’s the light in her eyes that really showcases her beauty.

The small shop front we share is golden with sunlight and green with plants. My half features shelves displaying collections of items I have for sale, while hers is set up more like an office space for consulting with the clients who need her help staging their home for sale. In addition to the shop, I have a thriving online business. I still buy things at estate sales and thrift stores, but I hardly ever keep anything for myself.

“I’m closing up early today to meet Eli after school. He has some college applications to go over, and we’re going to my brother’s to see my niece’s play after that. Thanks, though.”

“Have fun! Oh, hey,” she adds, “are we still on for that spa day next week?”

“We’re definitely still on,” I tell her. I’m looking forward to a mani-pedi and a massage. Not so much the part where Beth joins us, but … one thing at a time.

It took six months of lean times, but the house finally sold during a huge housing boom. Having the sewage hooked up to the main line and a mostly renovated carriage house got us twenty thousand dollars over asking price, and the buyers didn’t ask us to do a single other repair.