And then she tells me what this something else is, and it’s also extraordinary. Not only is she a robot, but I’m now full of tiny robots too. I’m not sure I like it, but then she points out they’re microscopic – smaller than my cells. And also, they’re under her control. Which is how she knows all about what’s going on inside me.

I suppose I should be anxious, or angry, or something. The thing is, I’ve come back to life, as it were, and I can see again, and – well, people have had artificial limbs and organ transplants for years, so this is simply the next step. I like technology, even if I can’t understand it. I’m all for modern things. You can stuff the past. People my age feel nostalgic about it, and talk about it like a golden era. Well, phooey. You want to live in an age where half your children died in infancy, and you could get carried off by a bad cold? Good luck to you. I’ll take the present, and the future, thanks.

And they can stick a nuclear reactor inside me if it makes me feel as lively as I do now.

‘Well, dear, I’m happy to be in such good condition. Bring on the – what did you call them – nanobots? Yes, them. And I’m happy to have you as a carer, which I think is the question you want answered. Am I right?’

‘Yes, thank you. I know it’s a shock, and you probably didn’t know how advanced robotics were getting…’

I laugh. When did I last laugh?

‘No, I didn’t. But the previous carers were – let’s say you’re a major improvement, and I’m pleased to have you looking after me. I’ve always been keen on modern inventions. They just haven’t been quite so – so amazing as you, up to now.’

She looks pleased to hear this. Of course, she can’t be. Can she?

*

She wants to help me dress and shower, but it turns out I can do it all for myself.

‘How long have I been here, Winifred?’

She pauses a second, and then says, ‘Two and a half years.’

‘And you came when?’

‘I’ve been here for two months. I came online three months ago.’

‘You came online?’

‘I was first powered up. We’re inert during manufacture, of course.’

She’s telling me this sitting on a chair in the bathroom while I’m drying myself. Like two girlfriends. Except I’m ancient and she’s modern.

‘You’re three months old?’

‘Yes.’