That’s what those mannequins were. They dressed them up in different outfits and it was supposed to draw Mum’s attention, or something. It certainly drew mine. A male figure with nothing on but a sporran – I’ve found it hard to get the image out of my head.

Anyway, I went to visit on my own yet again last month, and all of that’s gone. I suppose with robot carers – Helpers, I should say – you don’t need inanimate human figures standing around. And Mum was getting a lot more attention and care from Winifred than I ever saw her get from the previous regime. I don’t think it was making much difference. I mean, I’m glad Mum’s getting decent care, of course, and I have no worries about it, but it didn’t look like she was making the progress we’d been promised. Not surprisingly. It was all marketing hyperbole, I suppose. And honestly, the fees haven’t gone up, which I was expecting, and so OK, fair enough, life, such as it is, is better for Mum now, but let’s not kid ourselves. She’s still on the way out. I’ve got used to her ramblings, her noises, her non-sequiturs and now her inability to tell me and my brother apart, mostly. It’s sad, but she’s going the way a lot of old people do, nowadays, when their minds die before their bodies. Give me a heart attack like Dad, any day.

I walk through to the kitchen to see what Charlotte’s up to. She’s sitting at the table, reading a manual of some kind, while a black box the size of a book stands on end in front of her. It has no buttons or lights on it, but it’s clearly some kind of device.

‘That’s like a miniature monolith,’ I say.

She looks up, a quizzical expression on her face.

‘You know, from 2001. The movie. Those big black shiny things?’

‘Are you trying to help? Because you’re not.’

‘What is it?’

‘It’s an upgrade for the Smart Home controller.’

‘Does this one have a silly name, too, like the first one? Alicia?’

‘I’m thinking of calling it Winifred, after your robot girlfriend.’

This is the one thing she’s wanted to talk about since I told her about the new regime at Evergreen. It didn’t help when she saw the news stories, and what Winifred looks like.

‘Have you got it working?’

‘Yes, perfectly, thanks. I’m reading the manual for fun. What do you think? It’s decided we have to defrost the freezer, and it won’t let me do anything else until I’ve agreed. Not even boil a kettle.’

‘Maybe it’s time to upgrade properly, and get a domestic robot in.’

She looks at me sharply.

‘If we do it’s going to be a male one.’