What are we for? What is left to us if all manual labour gets done by robots? Intellectual work? The Helpers can do that too, I bet. They are indistinguishable from humans, and their intelligence is beyond doubt superior. Not that I’ve spent much time up close with them. Now I’m going to. And I’m going to help drive this revolution forward. Better than being run over by it.

Today is an induction day for me. The warehouse opens to the public later, but for now the car park at the front is empty. I look up at the building.

They’ve rebranded, of course. The new sign here on the front shows how they’ve repositioned the company, and expanded their mission.

Peoplecare – We Care For You. A small but significant change.

Underneath, sub-brands are listed: Eldercare, Leisurecare, Domesticare, Labourcare and Pleasurecare.

The last one suggests that maybe those ladies of the night in Soho did in fact come from here. Let’s see.

I press the buzzer, and it opens at once. Inside is a showroom, much like the ones for selling cars. Except this has something like stage sets – various rooms from a typical house, an office, a workshop, a granny flat, a bank, a shop. No sign of a bedroom, mind. If my suspicions are correct, they’ll have one hidden away somewhere. After all, children come here. Mine will shortly. They’re excited about it. Getting their own Winifred.

‘John? Hi, I’m Victor,’ says a voice, and I turn to see a smartly dressed young man approaching.

I shake his hand, and look closely at his face. Is he human? I give up. No way of telling.

‘I’m pleased to meet you,’ he says. ‘You’re the son of the famous Margaret Woodruff. The lady who told the world all about our achievements.’

‘Yes, she did, didn’t she? I never expected my mum to be a celebrity.’

‘We’re delighted to have you on board, John. Who better to tell our customers how great life can be with a convincing synthetic human in it?’

‘Well, yes, of course. May I ask you a question?’

‘Fire away. Wait – I know what you want to know. No, I’m human. I aspire to be as energetic and efficient as a synthetic.’

This is what it’s come to? Robots as role models? I say nothing, and nod and smile. The pay here is fantastic, and the prospects. I don’t want to rock the boat.

‘Now John, to start today, we’re going to run through what our customers will see. Then I’ll take you behind the scenes to have a look at what’s in the pipeline. Then we’ll run through the payment options. And we’ll finish up with you joining me on the shop floor, watching the sales process in action. How does that sound?’

‘Great – I can’t wait.’

‘OK then.’