I shake my head.

‘And if I tell you, I’ll feel it all again, won’t I? And I know my heart will break.’

I’m almost afraid now. What if my heart breaks too? But she’s looking at me so lovingly, I can’t say no. I nod. It’s all I can do.

‘Thank you. You’re not a lot older than she would be now… Oh, we tried hard to forget. We travelled – to Kenya, as I told you, and all over the place. We had money. We went to the best restaurants – once the food improved, after the war. Arthur was busy trying to keep my mind off her. And his, too, of course.

‘I’ve been a widow for years now. And I was a mother for a short time. Too short, too short, and then not a mother for too, too long. Or a mother without a child. Is there anything sadder? A child without a mother, I suppose, but somehow they go on, don’t they? And they still have hope, but hope dies when your one child dies, and you can see nothing in the rest of your life to fill the void.

‘We had a good enough life, but sadness was always there. Like most people before the 20th century, of course, and most people still in poor countries. Those Kenyans. They knew about losing children. Life has too many tears in it. I’m finished with it.’

She closes her eyes.

‘I’m trying to call my Amy’s face to mind. I’m thinking about our house, when Amy was little. There she is. Running in a circle around the living room. In a dress I made. And I remember sitting on the floor, and Amy running into my arms, again and again, diving in, throwing herself into a hug.’

She pauses, and tears squeeze out through her firmly closed eyelids, and run down the sides of her face.

She speaks again.

‘My darling, it’s been so long… Seventy-four years. Such a long time for a little girl to be without her mummy. Such a long time for a mummy to be without her little girl.

‘I’ve never wanted to think about the awful day. But I’m going to now.’

She stops, and more tears come. I hold her hand tighter, and she holds mine tighter too.

‘She was always happy. Laughing, smiling, skipping about. Oh, I know, she can’t have been all the time, but in my dreams and memory, she’s looking into my eyes, and smiling at me.