Trevor was amusing in his corny, boisterous way. And he was great with Kelli. But he was also, it had to be said, a little pushy. He could be bossy, and moody when he didn’t get his way. But most of all, he was presumptuous. It was the presumption, I realized, I couldn’t encourage. He had been a good friend, going above and beyond his designated role — somewhat inappropriately above and beyond, but in a way that was well-meaning and helpful. And he could continue to be our friend, certainly. But if I was going to live here, if I was going to move back (and here I experienced another woozy jolt of exhilaration — Was I really going to live here? Was I actually going to move back?) — if I was going to live here we would have to establish some ground rules. I pulled my hand back from the card that read TREV. In my grief about my mother and my panic over what to do with Kelli this past month, I’d let Trevor stray a little too far into my life. Our lives. I couldn’t just call him up like he was one of my girlfriends to crow about my latest life decision. But if not Trevor, who?

“Do you know,” I said to Jessica Hendy, after apologizing for calling her so late, and so soon after our lunch. And after telling her my news, and after apologizing again and laughing like a semi-hysteric when she told me to stop apologizing. “I almost called the home care guy! I had no one else to tell, so I almost called the guy who takes Kelli for a walk every week!”

“You mean the guy you said kidnapped you?” said Jessica.

I laughed. I’d forgotten having described the afternoon with Trevor in the truck to her that way. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said. “The guy who mowed the lawn for us that time.”

“Ugh,” said Jessica. “I’m glad you called me instead.”

“Oh, he’s fine,” I said. “And ultimately I wouldn’t have found Gorsebrook without the guy.”

Gorsebrook, I had explained to Jessica in a rush, was the answer to all our problems. Gorsebrook would make it easy. If I moved here, I could take care of Kelli for as long as it took for a bed to open up. I could work from home, find new clients, maybe keep some of my old ones if they were amenable to a long-distance telecommute. As far as my house in Toronto went, I’d simply rent it out — so even if work slowed down I’d have a supplementary income to keep me going. I’d sell this house, move somewhere smaller and cheaper near Gorsebrook, and get Kelli started in the day program. I could walk her there every day, volunteer from time to time. Kelli would get to know the place and the people and eventually it would come to feel like a second home. When the time came for her to move in, it would be seamless, and I’d be right down the street, able to visit as often as I liked.