“You, my friend, came to us with an openness that stunned me. That first night at the piano. The way you listen to everyone, anytime one of us is talking. You notice people. You know what is needed and you do it. Whenever some hidden mess is tidied, some forgotten task completed, I think to myself, That was Mila. And even if you hadn’t done any of those things, I would care for you anyway.”

I nodded, a storm swelling in my chest.

“There will be a night, some night, I am sure of it, when the mystery of all of this won’t be so difficult anymore. None of us will ever understand all of it, but you will not be in the dark.”

I wanted his words to be true. I tried to believe him.

“I have a hard time with people in pain,” he said. “Especially children. And I was not patient with you; I was not kind. I was worried for Lee, but that’s a poor excuse. Not a day goes by that I don’t, also, worry for you.”

“What for?”

He gestured to the window, his attention on me unwavering.

“I need you to be brave,” he said. “I need you to face her, even though it hurts.”

I broke our gaze. It was too much.

“May I walk you across the field?” Julia asked.

“I’ll be all right,” I said. “But thank you.”

I tied the robe tighter as I stepped into the night. A small ghost was playing with some other ghost children on the green, so I chose to walk the path. The moon was full and huge in the sky. My feet crunched the gravel. Then two ghost girls, holding hands, appeared together out of the fog. Twins. My breath caught but I kept walking, too weary to think of what it might mean. I would make it to my cabin, and I would try not to think too much, try to fall fast asleep, and the sun would rise on a new day. Toward me came another glow, this one leaping and spinning. She got so close to me—I had to cover my eyes—but then she was gone.

the waves

AS THE NEXT DAY WORE ON, the evening’s approach made my heart race. I didn’t want to be alone in my cabin, so I set out down the path and out the gate, as I had with Julia on my first full day at the farm and so many times with Billy and Liz in those magical, fleeting weeks when we were friends.