“But who are you?”

I sit back, feeling knifed. “I’m me.” My voice lowers to a whisper. “You know who I am.”

“Well, were you always on drugs when we were together?”

“No. Not always. It isn’t like that. Look, let’s just be friends. Start slower this time. Use the distance to our advantage.”

“Slower?” She snorts in disbelief.

“That’s right. We’ll talk on the phone. I’ll come visit on the weekends. Or every other. Whatever you want. We’ll rebuild from a flat but stronger spot. You should meet Sully, too. He’s heard all about you, and maybe he can help give you a better understanding about what I’m dealing with. But you and I have something special between us. And I don’t want to let it go. I can’t.”

“Rebuild? I see you’re still the same Boy Scout.”

“You know it.” I reach my hands to hers, threading our fingers together. “See?” I stare into her eyes, willing her to understand. “I’m me. You know me, Lauren.”

“Well”—she pulls her hands away from me and pushes hair behind her ears—“you’ve said you don’t want marriage or a family or anything long-term. I’m putting out my cards. I want love, Slade. I won’t do a short-term thing. Not again. I hope to find love with someone, and I can’t waste my time.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I want it, too. I swear, I do. Always have. Just got derailed for a while, but that’s done now. Let’s try. Start with friendship, so I can prove it to you. Can you give me that?”

Again, I slide my hands around hers. A light squeeze from hers tells me she’s in. But then she opens and closes her mouth, like she wants to say something.

In a rush, she says, “I’m sort of dating someone.”

My world slows down. “Huh?”

“Yeah. Nothing serious. Just a few dates here and there.”

“End it.”

“What?”

“You heard me. When I say friendship, I mean, we won’t rush into getting physical again. There’s only one man for you. And it’s me. I fucked up, but it’s time now to let me make it right. You and I belong together. And that’s all there is. Tell him you won’t be seeing him again.”

Tears fill her eyes as she nods. “Yeah.”

24

Lauren

Six Months Later

“I’ve removed all the boxes from your room. Your office is officially ready!” Eve’s voice is so upbeat; it’s almost laughable.

“Who are you, and what have you done with my serious friend?” I sit on top of a huge cardboard box, the words Shoes and Bags written in thick black Sharpie. I gave most of my accessories away to Goodwill, but when push came to shove, I had to keep some.

“What can I tell you? Being pregnant has turned me upside down.” Eve’s eyes sparkle with the words, and my heart fills with happiness for her, just as it always does when she mentions her pregnancy. “I’m just glad you’ll be in full swing at the Center when he’s born.”