Shit.

As she walks by my side to leave the office, I resist the urge to throw her onto the floor and kiss her until she melts.

She brings me to a small coffee shop around the corner, and I order a nonfat latte for her and a black cup of decaf for me. I get our drinks and bring them to where she sits.

“It’s been a while,” she starts.

“I had to get my shit together. I was spiraling within a bad place. My doctor thought it was best I complete twelve weeks with him before I came to see you. Vincent and Eve wanted me to wait even longer, but I didn’t listen.” I hoped for some small conversation first, but I guess I’m getting into it. “I know I’m a lot to handle. But I’m working on it all. I’ve gotten help, and it’s going really well.”

I want to take her hand in mine, but she’s toying with the rim of her coffee cup, listening intently.

“That’s great, Slade.” She tries to smile, but it comes out sad.

“Can we try again?” I lean my elbows on the wooden table between us, wanting to get closer. “I know we had a shaky start. Actually, two shaky starts if you want to count the wedding. But I want you to know that I did plan on calling you back after that night. But, somehow, out of nowhere, my nightmares began pouring through my psyche. Things began to go from bad to worse, and I didn’t think I was in the right mind to date you. And then we saw each other at the club, and … I wanted it. Wanted you, so badly. And then the shooting in Vegas. Everything got worse after that. Still, I wanted you. From the moment I met you at the hospital, you were the one I couldn’t stop thinking about. I wasn’t good in the way you deserved. But I want you to give me another chance.” I’m rambling, and I can’t seem to stop it.

She sits back, as though unsure. I feel my pulse beating more quickly. The reality that she might say no is bigger than I thought.

“I know you don’t trust me after everything, but—”

“Wait.” She lifts a hand, stopping me. “I need you to understand that I won’t ever tolerate lying. I will not allow someone to go behind my back. I spent the last few months thinking about what we had. And, truthfully, I’m angry with myself for letting it get that far. You can’t take advantage of my feelings for you. You kept apologizing. Toying with me. You were on drugs … lying to my face.”

I grab her hand, in absolute awe of this strong, independent woman, and I resist the urge to vow everlasting love. I deserve her words and anger. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up.

“I know. The medicine Dr. Sullivan put me on is working, and we don’t plan on staying on them forever either. He thinks, over time, I’ll be able to wean off. I betrayed your trust. And Vincent’s and Eve’s, too. But give me another chance to prove I’m better than the man you knew.”