“The rule came about when a comic artist on the web learned that there was Calvin and Hobbes porn,” their de facto ringleader tells me.

“Oh, God!” I say miserably.

I want to look at Brody, to see if this makes him as unhappy as it makes me, but it hurts too much to look at Brody. Blank-faced, stoic Brody. Not even a scowl to let me know he’s in there. And the few times I’ve tried to catch his eye, he’s turned away. Not that he’s ignoring me. He was entirely civil to me as we loaded the boat. He held out his arm so I could balance myself climbing in. He has been nothing but polite.

And I hate it.

My chest has not stopped aching since he told me that he doesn’t want to be the guy in my plan. Not that I should have been surprised. If you decide to bag the bad boy, it’s pure fantasy to think that you’ll live happily ever after with him. Especially if the two of you reside on opposite sides of the country and are as different as two people can be.

Still, knowing that doesn’t stop the pain.

“Rachel?” Ringleader asks me.

I get back to business.

In addition to the savvy students, there are also a few in the group who are like me: they grew up knowing this stuff was around but never quite got up the courage to delve into it. Maybe they were afraid their browsing histories would keep them out of college, maybe they were afraid to own toys in a household with nosy little siblings, or maybe they just kept meaning to get around to it and never found time.

So I aim my chatter at them, and like almost everyone who’s brave enough to attend a party in the first place, they eventually open up, asking questions, and, well, buying a truckload of new toys.

I’m going to miss this, too. Part of me thinks maybe I’ll get my own Real Romance business when I get back to Boston, but I’m not sure how that’ll work with a full-time job. And maybe it’s just a fantasy, too, that I’ll be able to capture and keep part of Rush Creek Rachel when I go home.

Maybe Rush Creek Rachel only existed for a brief, glorious moment.

Maybe I need to let her go, too.