When he finally got away from his desk Donnelly pulled his flight log toward him. He checked the clock on the wall to fill in the Mission Elapsed Time column, and signed himself out. His hands were trembling, and the signature was shaky.

He flipped back through the log. The last few pages were all but illegible.

Thursday, December 4, 1980

LYNDON B. JOHNSON SPACE CENTER, HOUSTON

It was already after midnight when Bert Seger called Fay from his office.

He asked Fay to send him some fresh clothes. He made a mental note to arrange a security pass for her; JSC, and the Cape, had been sealed off as soon as news of the accident’s severity had started to break.

He asked after the kids and failed to hear the answers. Then he told Fay he loved her. He hung up.

It was evident he was going to be working out of Houston for a while, or maybe the Cape, if and when the Command Module was retrieved after reentry. Fred Michaels had already told him that Carter was ordering a Presidential Commission to look into the accident, to which he’d expect NASA to respond fully, and for which response he’d be holding Seger accountable.

Seger expected nothing else.

Sooner or later, he’d always known, an astronaut was going to die on him.

The systems they were building simply weren’t reliable enough to guarantee safety. Most of the astronaut corps were still test pilots; they knew the odds better than anyone else, and they accepted them. But the people on the ground were Seger’s greater concern. His ground crews would have to live with the knowledge that they might have done something differently. It won’t fail because of me. What happened when that transmuted to: It failed because of me?

The phone rang. It was Tim Josephson, who wanted to talk about nominees for NASA’s internal investigative panel, that would be set up to anticipate and assist the Presidential Commission.

Seger forced himself to focus on what Josephson was saying.

He and Josephson soon agreed on a core list, save for the astronaut representative.

“What about Natalie York?” Seger said. “She was capcom when the stack blew; she showed herself to be cool and analytical under pressure. And she’s a personal friend of Priest’s.”

Josephson vetoed that. “York is still a rookie. And besides, she’s attached to Mike Conlig. Had you forgotten that? How can she assess a case, maybe involving defective designs or suspect management practices, involving her boyfriend?”

They went through some more names, without success.

Josephson cut him off. “Bert, I’ll tell you who Fred wants. Joe Muldoon.”

“Muldoon? Are you crazy? Muldoon is a loose cannon.”

“Yeah. He’s been a loudmouth, but that maybe gives him a reputation for independence, which wouldn’t hurt right now. And he was a moonwalker. Fred has a lot of time for him.”