He cradled his beer can, avoiding her eyes. “I’ve thought of leaving home.”

“What for?”

He looked irritated. “What do you think? To come here, for Christ’s sake. To be with you.”

“Oh.” That took her aback. “So,” she said gently. “What’s stopping you?”

“…I don’t think I can leave Karen.”

“Why not? Do you still love her?”

He turned to her and ruffled her hair. “Come on, Natalie, you’re a scientist. What kind of question is that? What does ‘love’ mean when you’ve been married to someone for more years than you can count, when you’ve raised a son… You go beyond love. Love’s for teenagers.”

“So, why don’t you leave?”

“Because I owe her.” He shook his head, irritated. “No, that’s not right. Because we have a kind of deal, going right back to the start. Karen has had to — invest in me. Every time I fly—”

“Oh, I get it,” she said. “She’s a Navy wife.”

“Don’t you dismiss it, Natalie. It might seem odd to you, but it’s a stable system. Karen has bought all my risk, over the years, and I’m asking her to buy even more when I go up on Apollo-N. I owe her. Maybe we’ll split up; but if we do, it ought to be her decision.”

She grunted. “Well, that’s as clear as gumbo.”

He laughed. “So what are you telling me? That if I turned up here with a suitcase, you’d have me?”

She thought about it. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I could never be a Navy wife.”

“I know it.” He cupped her cheek. “You’re something new, Natalie.”

She sipped her Coke. Her thoughts drifted back to NASA. “You know, in the Office, the Old Heads don’t even want us around…”

“Old Heads?”

“Ben, don’t pretend you haven’t heard that before. Old Heads It’s what we call you guys, the senior cadres.”

“Even me?”

“Even you, asshole. And the worst of the Old Heads are the oldest. Chuck Jones and the rest of the Mercury generation.”

“Oh, come on,” Ben said. “Those guys are straight enough. I mean, these are the good guys. The ones who’ve stuck with the program, trying to get another flight; the ones who didn’t take early retirement to make Amex commercials or take worthless corporate directorships, or appear on talk shows, or sell off bits of their space suits. Guys like Joe Muldoon and John Young and Fred Haise and Chuck Jones…”