SEARCH ENGINE (2099)

How tall was Reka Takacs?

Reka Takacs was 172.2cm tall, or – if you prefer to measure it the old way – five feet eight inches. (The same height as you.)

Who was the husband of Reka Takacs?

Reka Takacs had two husbands. The red-haired writer and record producer Martin McGuire (2029—2045) and the dark-haired actor Thomas Molland (2046—2047).

What does Takacs mean in English?

It means ‘weaver’.

When did Reka Takacs die?

Reka Takacs died in 2091, one day prior to what would have been her 100th birthday.

Why are we doing this? I know all this stuff. She’s my great-grandmother.

I’m sorry. It’s force of habit on my part, a hangover of the genetics of my programming. It’s because she was famous. People always want to know how tall famous people are, whether they have a spouse and, if so, who that spouse is. It’s really dumb. It goes back to the early days of Google. All these thousands and thousands of people looking up internationally well-known figures they are attracted to and checking on their marital status, as if thinking, ‘Hey, let’s see if I have a chance here.’

I don’t think of her as famous. She didn’t want to be famous. She’s not famous now.

She was, for a while. The Little Meg album sold 30,000 copies during the month of its release. That is pretty impressive for 2047, and for what was essentially a folk rock record. The general public didn’t have a lot of money to spend that year.

Do people search my name and height and try to find out if I’m married? No, don’t tell me that. OK, tell me.

931 people searched the words ‘Bea Mortimer’ and ‘married’ or ‘married to’ or ‘husband’ last year. 649 of those people also searched ‘height’ or ‘how tall’. People generally search ‘height’ or ‘how tall’ far more often when trying to find out information about men. 480 people, having discovered the answer about whether you were married or not, then went on to try to find out if you were dating anyone.

That’s insane. Who are these people? I don’t think I even sold 931 copies of my album last year. What is this over here?

That is correct. You sold 762 copies of Dick Warner’s Woodyard. The single ‘The Witch on the Wall’ sold 611 copies. But you did literally zero promotion. That is lady fern. There’s a tiny bit of dwarf male fern next to it, and some stalks of crested dog’s-tail. The pink flowers growing at its base are red campion.

I think I would like more ferns for the garden, for the dark bit by the wall. But they cost so frickin’ much at the Garden Salon.