Met Ellie at a club, fell in love, and asked her to move in. The next day she arrived at my house holding a banjo. I knew we were doomed.

Math has always been my favorite subject. I get along with numbers. They make sense. Numbers don’t lie. Why couldn’t he be a number?

Climbing into the dirigible, we embraced, thrilled to elope. Everything was perfect. “Uh-oh,” said David, “One of us has to cast off.”

“Do you love me, Phillip?” asked Priscilla. “That’s a silly question,” he replied, still looking at his paper. “I thought so,” she said.

Clowning was Daryl’s profession, cooking was his passion. Stella thought he was perfect. She liked to laugh and never learned to cook.

Dana got in the cab wanting to get home. Bad blind date. Alone. Feeling desperate. “You want to get a drink?” she asked the cabbie.

Johnny worked up his nerve. “You want to go on a date?” “I don’t think that is a good idea,” said Ms. Brackle, his 5th grade teacher.

The catapult launched Tom toward Kim’s window. He crashed through with the banner proclaiming his love. She, however, was at the pool.

Alex bought Sharon a ring for Valentine’s Day, which she sold to buy the gun that stopped him from loving her.

Jim and Stella shredded their relationship in the lobby. Screaming about never seeing each other but joined by the last available room.

Jack told his girlfriend problems to his rock collection. They were old and wise, knowing just to listen, not tell him what to do.

Darla’s beauty was staggering… literally. When men saw her, they staggered and fell down. Lonely, she resorted to dating blind men.

David liked ants, the only pet his parents had approved of. He designed his house like an ant colony but still searched for his queen.

Read your diary, discovered your secret. I thought I loved you, but now I’m not sure. Don’t know what to do, you look so human.

Justin probed Mary’s cerebral cortex, removing the unwanted thoughts. No longer would she think of sweets, now she would crave him.

Sheila liked Ken in the same way she liked a Filet-O-Fish sandwich when she was thinking of lobster. He was right here, right now.

After swimming, Tom walked on the beach, unable to find his hotel. Rita, sure he’d left her, spent their wedding night with the bellboy.

The date went poorly. Wendal and Marge discovered nothing in common and didn’t know what to talk about when they woke up in the morning.

Silas camped by the mailbox, waiting on his pen pal’s letter. In love with Marie, he was destroyed to learn she was an old man in prison.

I wore the flip-flops everywhere. When they wore out, I carried the pieces. Beautiful Rita said she’d be back for them. I was waiting.