On the way I saw Connor playing out with his mates. Everyone was out late. They were kicking a football up at the chain-link fence over the sloping roofs of the sheds by the flats.

‘What’ve you done? Everyone’s looking for ya!’ He wasn’t looking at me and went on keeping the ball up off the ground every time it fell back off the roof which was the game he was good at so it was always his turn.

‘Nothing!’ I said, trying to choke back all the feelings with my fists clenched, but I could feel myself crying.

‘Then keep your mouth shut,’ he said, and went on counting, ‘fifty-six ...fifty-seven ...fifty-eight ...’

I got as far as the lamp post and saw some people in suits coming out the house. They turned down the street towards the main road and the door slammed shut after them. I lost my nerve and ran back and ducked down behind the bonnet of the car to get it back.

I couldn’t think what I’d done wrong. That’s when Manus looked over the top of the bonnet at me.

‘You’re ridiculous, and you’re dirty,’ he said. ‘Look at you!’

I had some of the grease and the dirt off the tyre on my hands where I’d been leaning to peer over. I didn’t know what to do so I wiped my hands on my shirt, and used the back of my hand to wipe the tears off my face, and I wiped that on my shirt too.

Manus sighed, like he was gonna have to be clearing up after me again and he didn’t want to. So he told me to stand up, wipe off the snot and go home because I was in trouble, and off he went.

I could see what he was thinking. When I started school I had to put my hand up to go to the toilet. The teacher said I could go but I didn’t know where it was and I couldn’t get out the gate to go home because it was locked, so I went round behind the outside stairs to the sheds where there was a puddle of rain and tried to wash the poo off as it was coming down the backs of my legs into my socks. The bell rang and the juniors came out to the playground and saw me crouching in the puddle. I told them to go away but they got Manus because they knew he was my brother. He looked at me and didn’t say anything, he just yanked me up out the water by the arm and told the playground lady he was taking me home to clean up. I followed him all the way with my socks squelching and my pants sticky.

‘Don’t you ever learn?’ he said, and I knew it was my fault he was missing school.