VANYA Well, yes. I don’t usually think about it. It’s just that I was drinking one coffee, and liking it, and then suddenly there’s a different cup of coffee, and I’m liking it slightly less. It’s no big deal. I’m just making pleasant conversation.

SONIA That’s not making pleasant conversation. It’s first thing in the morning, and you’re implying I don’t do anything right.

VANYA I didn’t say that.

SONIA Yes, you did.

VANYA I didn’t.

SONIA Well you implied it.

VANYA Forget it! The coffee’s delicious, I love it!

SONIA Oh, for God’s sake. Here, take the original cup back.

VANYA No, no, it’s not that different. I’m sorry I said anything.

Sonia forces him to take his original coffee cup back, the one he preferred. She takes the second cup back herself.

SONIA I mean I have two pleasant moments every day in my fucking life, and one of them is bringing you coffee.

VANYA Sonia, I’m sorry I said anything. Really, the two cups are almost identical. I should have said nothing.

SONIA All right.

VANYA I’m sorry. Really.

SONIA That’s all right.

She suddenly takes the cup she’s holding and smashes it on the floor, in the direction of the kitchen. Silence.

VANYA Is this how you’re going to be today?

SONIA I don’t know what you mean.

VANYA YOU JUST THREW THE FUCKING COFFEE AGAINST THE WALL!

SONIA I DIDN’T!

VANYA You didn’t??? What kind of idiot response is that?

SONIA I don’t know. It’s an angry “I hate my life and I hate you” response.

VANYA Well, it was effective then, good for you!

SONIA Thank you!

Silence.

SONIA I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thrown the cup.

VANYA That’s all right.

SONIA It’s just I had bad dreams last night.

VANYA Oh?

SONIA I dreamt I was 52 and I wasn’t married.

VANYA Were you dreaming in the documentary form?

SONIA That’s not funny.

VANYA Really, I thought it was. You are 52, and you’re not married.

SONIA Whose fault is that?

VANYA Is the answer supposed to be me?

SONIA There isn’t any answer. And if I pine for you, that’s my business.

VANYA Don’t pine for me. That’s ridiculous. I’m 57 and I’ve told you for many years, I’m not interested in you in that way. I . . . march to a different drummer.

SONIA Why must you march to a drummer at all? Why couldn’t we both . . . walk to the sounds of a piccolo?

VANYA What? I don’t know what that metaphor means. Besides, you’re my sister.

SONIA We’re not blood relations. I am your adopted sister. So I can pine if I want to.