Jesse must have thought about himself in that improvisation. Perhaps about Metro, too, who was alive then. Alive in Jesse like Jesse made Phillip alive in me. Maybe that’s why Jesse needed to stay with me. And when it turned out to be longer than either of us expected, I didn’t mind. I mean, I wasn’t going to put him out after all he’d been through. He made my knees weak, he was so handsome and alone. But what can a dancer do with weak knees except to keep on dancing?

Which is what I did with Phillip when Mama braided my hair into coils of headache or raked my scalp until I thought I’d bleed, or when I couldn’t help scratching the rash on my behind only to tear away the skin and bleed for real that time. I wasn’t even having periods yet, but I was wearing all kinds of padded underwear and drinking goat’s milk to heal my skin. All I wanted from Phillip was his tenderness, so that being a sickly colored girl wouldn’t seem like the end of the world. I wasn’t asking anything from Jesse, either. So when he called me, late as it was, I figured he could come right over. I had plenty of room. I wasn’t asking for anything. For once, I could give something. We’d work on that dance, get ready for auditions, and-a one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight.

Wouldn’t you know it’d be more complicated than that. Two days after Jesse’s coming to stay with me, I came home to the smell of Lysol disinfectant and Ajax with ammonia. The apartment was as clean as a dime, and there was Jesse peeling potatoes at the sink, the dishes stacked up neat, the counter scrubbed to a shine, and the man had my apron on!

“I didn’t expect you to clean the kitchen,” I said.

“It’s the least I could do. You’re good enough to let me stay here.”

“But Jesse,” I said, looking around the kitchen, at the sunlight streaking through the rooms. “It’s not only the kitchen, it’s the whole place. You cleaned it all?”

“You’ve seen the bedroom?”

“Newspapers put away. Rug vacuumed. Clothes in the hamper. Even my dance tights folded neat. Do you do windows?” We both laughed.

“Just trying to be helpful.”

“Your apartment must have been spotless,” I said.

“I tried to keep it clean.”

“Bet you didn’t even have roaches, huh?”

“Squashed every one I saw. Twice I had the place exterminated myself when the landlord refused to do it.”

“The whole building?”

“You kidding? Just our place.”

“Two rooms?”

“Three.”

“Me? I can live with roaches. They were here before I came, and they’ll be here long after I’m gone.”

“You have a nice place,” said Jesse.

“You’ve made it nicer.”

“I had something to work with. You coming to dance class? You ready for stretches, lunch?”

“Then off to the studio?”

“Sure.”

“You’re something else, Jesse.”