“As a dancer, I mean. I think he’s pretty good.”

“Handsome,” Jesse said. “And, yes, a good dancer.”

“Think we’ll make the company?”

“We’d better.”

“Why?”

“Because I just had an idea for a dance. I’d like to choreograph something.”

“What kind of dance?”

“A dance for men. Two men. A male pas de deux.”

I started to laugh, then caught myself. “It’s been done before,” I said.

“But it’s always some version of the Icarus-Daedalus story. One dies, the other flies to safety. Or Cain and Abel. Two brothers. But still one of them dies. I want to do something about lovers. How two men can fly together and land safely, feet back on the ground.”

“Sounds confusing to me.”

“It’ll be great.”

“For you and Rodney, perhaps.”

“Who’s talking about Rodney?”

“I can read between the steps. Anyway, you two dance well together. Not that I was noticing or anything.”

“You’re bullshitting.”

“No, I’m not, Jesse. But what about me? You’ve forgotten about me that quickly? I’m a dancer, too. And Metro, what about him?”

“He’s dead. The dance is about him. Rather, us. What we could have been.”

“And now Rodney?”

“Look, Rooms—”

“Ruella, Ruella McPhee.”

“Listen, Ruella. He’s asked me to visit later. For drinks.”

“Then you won’t be coming by my place tonight?”

“I hope not.”

“Shit. You don’t have to say it like that, Jesse.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You better stay there too, Jesse. At his place or yours.”

“Huh?”

“I want to be alone for a while,” I said. My lips felt thick. I bit into them to stop the trembling creeping all into me like the smoke. “I want to be alone,” I said again, my lips almost swollen now, and chewy.

“Until tomorrow, you mean. Tomorrow, right?”

“No, Jesse. Longer than that.”

“I see.”

“I do too,” I said. “Now.”

Jesse’s eyes were on my back, but I turned more fully away from him and walked alone outside the studio. My feet felt funny, lighter, and were leading me in a different direction from Jesse’s. I carried nothing but my dance bag, and my shoulders felt light. I tried to get the first train I heard screeching into the station. Missed it. Another fifteen minutes pacing the platform. What in the world was I doing taking a train? Well, there I was. Then, for no reason at all, I started smiling to myself and smiling at other waiting passengers. I was learning new steps just pacing there and feeling the vibrations underfoot of the coming train. Truth is, I was practicing for the time I’d dance solo or not dance at all. And I had nothing at all to fear from fire.

For two days I cleaned my apartment myself. And when I returned to the studio, Lord, our names had been posted.

Lonny

Lonny