Making my way over to the closet, I stepped inside and closed the door with a soft click. The door luckily had wooden slats, making them perfect for watching. The thump against the wall told me they were close to the room, and then the shadow that fell across the threshold gave me the full picture. The two were wrapped around one another like two octopuses going at it. Legs and arms were entangled as they groped at one another. Clothes littered the floor as they stumbled into the room like a pair of horny teens.

Margaret backed up to Kirby’s bed and stopped as the couple came up for air.

“Why are we in here?” Peter said as he looked around the room.

The audible swallow he made as he focused on the portrait of Kirby on the wall could be heard from where I was standing. Aw, his manhood just shrank up, and he ran out of the room screaming. The corner of my mouth curled up with the imagery.

“It’s just a bedroom, Peter.”

“No, this is Kirby’s room,” Peter said, and I rolled my eyes, wanting to hand him a Captain Obvious sign to wear.

“So what? Does it look like she’s around? Besides, she broke up with you and took off without a word to either of us. Wouldn’t it be fun to have sex in her bed as a ‘fuck you’ to her?”

I shook my head in bewilderment, but I wasn’t much for turning down a perfect opportunity to get dirt on someone. This moment was what I’d call ‘aces.’ Pulling up the camera on the phone, I held it up to the open, narrow slat and hit record.

As more clothing was torn off and distributed haphazardly around the room, I had a strong urge to call out pointers. The odd snorting grunts Peter made and the braying-like yells Margaret bellowed out made it feel like I was in some warped version of a petting zoo. The only thing missing was the dispensers of food to toss to them. Thankfully, the sex barely lasted ten minutes before they collapsed on the bed, and after another ten, they passed out, snoring.

Well, that was sad.

If this was the vanilla bullshit Kirby had been subjected to, then the shit I planned on doing was going to blow her mind.