My lip curled up as a thought occurred to me. Marching into the bathroom, I searched all the drawers until I found what I was after and pulled out the tube of lube. The next stop was the kitchen, and I hunted around in the fridge until I found what I needed. Making my way back to the bedroom, I found the pair in the exact same positions I’d left them. Holding my treasure up, I squeezed a large dose of lube on the end of the thick cucumber.

I gripped the top of Peter’s boxers and smirked as I pulled them down enough to expose his asshole. This was a win, win. If he woke up, I’d get to kill him, and if he remained asleep…I’d get to laugh for days to come. Holding back the snicker, I took a bite out of the end of the cucumber and put the piece in my pocket. Positioning my green weapon into the proper spot, I jammed it in a solid foot without any prep and prayed that the fucker woke up. Instead, he groaned loudly and then shuddered, his body spasming as he came.

“Unbelievable,” I muttered as Peter’s body bounced around on the bed as his hips continued to flex and release around the large cucumber. “You like it that much you get to wake up like that.”

I stuffed it in a little further and then let go. Not what I’d planned, but I was sure it would be one interesting conversation in the morning. I swiped Peter’s phone off the nightstand and used his finger to unlock it, but I was surprised he hadn’t used his dick when I saw his photo history. I liked my cock just fine, but I didn’t have a thousand pictures of it on my phone.

“You’re an interesting kind of asshole, Peter,” I mumbled as I searched his contacts, texts, and emails. “Well, isn’t this curious,” I said and made sure to take screenshots of all that was usable or important.

Done. I snapped a shot of the cucumber in his ass and saved it as the home screen on his phone, and then to add salt to the wound, I spent a few extra minutes changing every person in his contacts to the same image. No matter who called him next, that photo was going to come up. The thought made me grin, something that I don’t often do. Tossing the phone on the bed, I quietly scooted around the bed.

“I guess this is it for now, Sunshine,” I said. “I hope that every time you move when you wake up, you still feel my cock inside you.”