I meet his gaze in the rearview and press my palm to my chest over my heart. “This is what you hurt. Over and again. Don’t tell me you protect me when you always leave me broken.”

He keeps his gaze locked with mine, but I know it’s only a matter of time before he lets go. He always does.

17

GILLY

The anguish in her voice breaks me. She slumps back in her seat as I drive up to the garage attached to the pool house.

As soon as I put the car in park, she has the door open and is turning to walk away from me. “I can sneak in the same way I snuck out.” Her voice trembles, but she keeps her chin up.

“Stay.” I shouldn’t say it, but I do. I shouldn’t mean it, but I fucking do. I’ve only ever wanted Carina, and I can’t bear the thought of causing her harm.

She whirls. “Stay?” She cocks her head to the side as if she can’t quite hear me.

I reach my hand out to her, holding it open and silently willing her to take it. “Stay with me tonight.”

“So you can play with me some more and hide me away like your dirty little secret?” she challenges.

“No.” I can’t look away from her. I never could, not really. It’s a truth I’ve been fighting, one I thought I could somehow master. But I can’t. Carina isn’t a woman I can deny or ever truly let go, and what I feel for her is all-consuming. Admitting it to myself is easier than I’d imagined. It’s like letting go and falling but knowing that the fall will be worth it, even if the landing hurts.

She steps closer, her gaze on mine. “Then what?”

“I’m going to worship your body and take your virginity. No.” I shake my head. “Not just take it. I’m going to enjoy it and every bit of you, every last fucking crumb. Because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep shutting you out when all I want to do is give you all of me.” I take a deep breath. “If that’s what you want.” My hand is still there, waiting for her to bridge the gap between us.

Her lower lip trembles, and she slowly lifts her arm. “I …” She takes my hand, hers small and warm in mine. “I want that. I want you.”