“I couldn’t leave Cinder.” He looked down, his gaze falling to the falcon carving in her hand. It was the one she’d taken all the way to Rim and back. She didn’t realize she’d been holding it. She didn’t even know when she’d taken it out of his pack.

Perry took it carefully from her hand. “You kept this.”

“Of course I did,” she said. “You gave it to me.”

Perry ran his thumb over it. A faint smile came to his lips. “I should’ve given you one of my arrows. I make better arrows than falcons.”

Aria bit her lip, dread snaking in her stomach. He was making small talk. Stalling. Almost everyone had loaded up. Only a few people were left, making their way into the Hovers.

He lifted his head, and the look in his eyes made her breath catch. “I didn’t know how to say this, Aria.”

“You’re scaring me. Just tell me what it is.”

She saw tears in his eyes, and she knew what he’d say before he uttered a word.

“I have to go with Cinder. I can’t let him go alone.”

38. Peregrine

38

PEREGRINE

Perry saw the exact moment that Aria understood. Her eyes flew open and her temper washed over him, pure ice. He kept talking, trying to explain.

“Cinder is going in his own Hover. . . . He’ll have to pull ahead of the fleet at the barrier of Aether, and I’m going with him.” His throat felt like it was closing up, but he pressed ahead. “What’s out there sounds bigger than anything any of us has ever seen. And you know the way he is afterward. If it doesn’t kill him, he’ll be close to dying. Maybe . . . maybe he won’t come out of it.”

Perry stared at the tufts of sea grass by his foot, unable to look at her anymore. He watched the fine blades blowing in the wind, and drew a few trembling breaths before he continued.

“I’m the only person he trusts. The only one. How can I ask him to go out there for us, if I won’t fight for him—for his life? And he’s terrified, Aria. If I’m not with him, I don’t know if he’ll go through with it. We’d all lose if that happened.”

Perry had talked it over with Marron and Cinder earlier in the Battle Room. He and Marron had even planned for the possible outcomes, and who would lead the Tides should he not make it back. Then Marron had left to speak to the Tides and, after, to arrange everything with Sable.

Now Perry looked up. Tears brimmed in Aria’s eyes. Discussing the consequences of his death had been easier than telling her that he had to leave her.

“I’ll go with you,” she said.

“No. Aria, you can’t.”