I am scared. I am alone. I don’t know what I am, and I miss him, and he shouldn’t ask me that question, because he knows. He can scent it. He is living it. He is breathing my pain.

Perry lets out a slow breath. “Can I do anything?”

“You have enough to do.”

“I care about you, Brooke.”

“No, you don’t. I know who you care about.” I point to the Dweller cavern. “She’s in there.”

I don’t want to say any of this. There are times I wish I had a cork to stopper my mouth.

Perry takes a step closer, his voice growing softer and quieter. “Aria and I are together, and that’s not going to change. But I want us to change. I want us to move past this.”

“There is no us anymore, Peregrine. You made sure of that.”

I can’t look into his worried eyes for another second, so I stare at the links of his chain. I want to wrap my fingers around it and pull his mouth down to mine. I want to feel his lips. His tongue. His body.

It makes no sense. He broke my heart and I still want him so much. How is that possible?

Maybe I caught the Dwellers’ fever. Maybe I’m delirious.

We are quiet for a long, long stretch that’s probably only seconds. But I can’t leave and he can’t leave, and every time he speaks, I feel worse.

“Brooke . . . you’re one of the best people I know,” he says softly, breaking our silence.

The words fall like frost on my skin. “Am I, Perry? That’s great to know.” I step forward. He doesn’t back away. I have to tilt my head up to see into his eyes. We’re only inches apart. Not as close as I want us to be. “Well, you know what? You’re one of the best Blood Lords I know. How does it feel to be almost the best?”

Silence. A muscle flexes in his jaw, but he doesn’t speak.

“It’s a bit like not being good enough at all, isn’t it?” I say.

“You’re twisting my words. That’s not what I meant to—”

“It is, Perry. It is what you meant. Admit it. I’m not good enough for you.”

Before he can say another word, I spin and head into the darkness. I don’t even bother trying to walk. I run.

My feet strike the hard stone ground at a reckless pace, but I don’t hear a sound. Not my footfalls, or my own breathing. There is only a desperate plea, filling my thoughts.

Get out of my heart, Perry.

Please. Get out of my heart.

Chapter 2

2

With the hours I spent helping Molly, I missed supper with my sister. That streaks me more than anything else has today.