When the discussion turns to food rations and other matters that don’t concern me, I excuse myself.

My impulse is to find Clara, but somehow my feet take me to the Dweller cavern.

Molly comes over when she sees me. “Well done,” she coos, cupping my cheeks. “I heard all about it from Willow.”

I went straight to the Battle Room when I arrived. How Willow knows everything before everyone is a mystery to me.

“Thanks,” I say to Molly. “Does that mean I get out of Dweller water duty today?”

She purses her lips. “Well, I suppose since—”

“I’m kidding, Molly.” Feeling strong and proud of myself, I pick up one of the jugs by the water barrel and fill it, deciding I’ll pitch in for a little while.

Today the Dwellers are improving. I see glimpses of life returning to them. The regular rise and fall of their chests as they slumber. The twitching behind their eyelids that tells me they’re dreaming instead of floating in darkness.

Soren is awake. He watches me for a few minutes before I finally kneel beside him.

“I was waiting for you,” he rasps.

“Why didn’t you call me over?” I say, giving him some water.

“I don’t know your name.”

He wants me to tell him, but for some reason I like keeping it from him. “Shame,” I say, putting the clay jug to his cracked lips. He takes five long sips. His increasing thirst is a good sign he’s recovering.

“The water?” he says, nodding at the jug. “You don’t need it.”

“I don’t need it?”

“As an excuse. You’re using it so you can come talk to me.”

I’m tempted to pour the rest on his head. “Really?” I say, forcing myself to look smitten. “I can come over to your side anytime?” I stand. “What about when I want to leave your side? Do I need an excuse then? Or permission?” I start walking backward. “Oh, look.” I glance at my feet. “It’s working!”

He grins. “Your name!” He tries to raise his voice, but it comes out sounding more like a croak.

“Bye, Soren!”

I leave the cavern because I want him to wonder where I went. Also because I remember the reason I came here to begin with.

I had forgotten that Aria was moved after her surgery. She’s been recovering in Perry’s tent. That’s where I head.

I find her sleeping on a bed pad wide enough for two. No need to guess who she shares it with. The realization stings, but only faintly.

The warrior in me is too strong today for me to feel weakness. And while I have not moved on, I am moving. I am trying. I am creating new beginnings.