I pull him to me again. He rolls on top of me, and then I roll on top of him, and it’s like a little battle in the midst of our kisses, our legs tangling up.

My hand finds his shirt, slipping over the rolling muscles in his stomach. He makes a hissing sound and darts away. “All right,” he says. “That was good.”

I don’t know what just happened. I don’t know why he pulled away. “It was better than good, Hayden.”

He mutters a curse and sits forward over his knees. “Brooke, just . . . give me a minute here.”

There’s only one reason he could have stopped. I can’t let that get in the way. “Hayden, what happened with Hyde was . . .” I don’t know how to finish my thought.

What happened between Hyde and me was a beautiful, fragile thing. But it feels like talking about it with Hayden would be disrespectful.

“It’s not that.” He rubs his hands over his head and lets out a breath. “Though it should be.”

“Then what? Is it Perry? Because I’m not with him anymore.”

Hayden lifts his head. “No, Brooke. It’s you.”

This throws me. My cheeks warm. “What about me?” I ask, preparing to defend myself.

“You’re running, Brooke. It’s like we’re back in those woods. You’re sprinting through this, and I don’t think . . .” He sighs. “I just have this feeling you don’t really want to do this.”

“Are you really going to tell me what I want?”

“I’m only telling you what I think. But I would like to know: What do you want?”

What do I want? I have to think about it for a moment.

I want to feel wanted and cherished and safe.

I want to find someone who won’t trade me for another.

I want to find love that is visceral and life-sustaining.

All those answers seem a little inappropriate. So I say, “I want you to kiss me again. You’re good at it.”

Hayden gives me a look I’ve never seen before. Like he’s in pain and about to laugh at the same time. “If I do, you’ll hate me tomorrow.”

“You have it backward. I’ll hate you tomorrow if you don’t.”

“But I’ll hate myself, and that’s who I have to live with for the rest of my life.”

I don’t know why that makes me laugh, but it does.

Hayden smiles. It’s disarming, his full lips pulling into a wide grin. “I don’t want to start this the wrong way, Brooke.”

I’m not sure what the right way would be. He’s older, and surely he’s been with other women. Are there paths to love, to relationships, that are better than others? I don’t know. I only know the one I’ve taken.

“Start what? You said you weren’t interested.”