Freya laughs, and Robin finds himself grinning. He’s looking forward to seeing her, to getting back to his own nick, being around people he knows and enjoys working with.

‘I’ve got some paperwork here you can help me with,’ she says. ‘And Josh mentioned something about a B and E that needs attention.’

‘Fine, anything,’ he replies. ‘See you at lunchtime.’

‘I’ll get you a sandwich.’

‘That would be good. Tuna?’

‘Piss off.’

And with that, Robin starts the engine and drives home with a smile.

64

Sophie can’t stand it any more. The repetitive speech, the constant reminding, the stuff he makes up. This shell, this destroyed husk – this isn’t the man she loves. He looks like him, has the same voice and the same mannerisms. But everything else? It’s gone.

The man in the bed is a stranger.

She heads off to the toilet, but when she’s finished there, she realises she can’t bear to go back. Stumbling, she walks quickly away from the hospital, out to the car park, then drives home. Her vision blurs, her hands shake. She can’t do this, she can’t.

Finn has his mother. He has his doctors, his therapists and the army of other experts who have been in to talk to them today. He doesn’t need her. Half the time he doesn’t even remember her. He asks, confused, ‘How long have we been together?’ He won’t miss her when she’s gone.

With trembling fingers, she puts her key in the door and closes it behind her. He should have died, she thinks, then hates herself for the very thought of it. But it would have been better. She could have grieved properly, then moved on with her life. Rather than this – this nothing.

She lies on her bed and, furious with the world, she punches her fists into her pillow. Nobody understands. It’s hard to explain what’s happened, what Finn’s like now. People just think he’s forgotten what happened in the storm. Like that’s a good thing, that he won’t be cursed with the memory and the trauma of Sharp dying that night. But he doesn’t remember anything. What he had for breakfast that day. Christ, he can’t even remember if he has had breakfast.

Nobody asks about her. Nobody wonders if she’s okay. It’s about Finn, and she knows that’s how it will be from now on. Her whole life will revolve around this lookalike; she will go from being his equal to being his nurse. Is that what she wants from her future?

She feels so alone. Already, she’s felt the difference from the people she thought were her friends. A few have been there for her, but some have backed away. Not knowing what to say, what to do.