“I just never know if I’m making the right choices for them,” I confessed. “Or for me. Everything I thought I knew turned out to be false. Everything I thought I had didn’t really exist. Everything I thought I wanted seemed so close—and yet I could never fully grasp it no matter how hard I tried. And I did try, Mom. I tried so hard.”

“I know you did, honey. I know you did.”

I wiped away my tears. “In the end, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Growing up, I felt so confident, so full of hopes and dreams, so sure that if I just followed my heart, good things would happen. Somehow I’ve lost that girl along the way. I thought if I moved back here, I might be able to find her, but now I’m afraid she’s gone for good. What’s the use of hopes and dreams anyway? They always get crushed.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” my mother said fiercely, taking my chin in her hand and forcing me to look at her. “That girl you were, the one full of hopes and dreams, she’s still in there somewhere. Your father and I raised our girls to follow their hearts because that is where true happiness lies. I’ve never said it won’t lead you through some dark woods, but you’ll come out the other side. Give yourself time to find your way, Sylvia. And never stop following your heart—your daughter will learn from you. Remember that.”

I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and gave my mother a frail smile, although her words had made me feel a little stronger. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

She got up from her chair and came to stand behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “You’re tougher than you know, my darling.”

“I hope so.”

“And I love you.”

I placed my hands on her forearms and breathed in her familiar gardenia scent. “I love you too.”

* * *

Later we took the kids over to Mack and Frannie’s for football and chili. The moment I walked into the kitchen, my sister grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs to her bedroom. Shutting the door behind us, she sat on the end of the bed and patted the spot in front of her. “Sit. And talk to me. I heard what happened.”

“From who?”

“Last night from Henry, and then this morning from Millie. She’s worried about Whit.”