It was dark now. When had that happened? She remembered getting up to go inside when her hands started to cramp around her phone, thinking that the laptop would be easier to work on. And then a couple of hours later she must have got up to plug in her charger. Had she eaten anything? Not for a while. She searched for some sense of hunger, but it didn’t come. Her mouth felt dry and sticky, her tongue sealed to the roof of her mouth, her lips sealed together.

There was only one person who might have the answers she needed. She watched her finger shake as she dialled the phone.

Max picked up on the third ring.

‘Hello?’

‘It’s Chloe.’

He paused. ‘Hey, Coco.’

‘Zadie’s dead.’

There was a shuffling of papers and the noise of a door being closed gently. ‘I know.’

‘You saw the announcement?’

Another pause. Chloe’s stomach twisted while she waited. ‘Max?’ she said, unable to bear the wait.

‘I spoke to her father.’

Chloe tried to compose herself. She tried to swallow the bile in the back of her throat.

‘What did he say?’

‘Very little. He thanked me for getting in touch, said that it hadn’t been unexpected and that he and Astrid were coping as best they could. Her brothers and sisters are devastated, of course. They’re having a very small family funeral. They don’t want flowers.’

‘Hadn’t been unexpected? What does that mean?’

Max sighed. ‘Come on, Coco. You knew her. You know what it means.’

‘Say it.’

‘She killed herself.’

Chloe shook her head, as if she were trying to shake the knowledge out of her ears. ‘Why?’

‘I don’t think there was a reason.’

‘You didn’t ask?’

‘Why would he tell me that?’

‘You’re her ex-boyfriend. You were together for six years.’

‘A long time ago. It’s not my business. It’s got nothing to do with either of us, or anything that happened back then. People don’t kill themselves because of a falling-out they had fifteen years earlier. She was ill then and, clearly, she was still ill. That’s it.’

Chloe paused. She traced her finger in a circle on the cheap Ikea kitchen table. Of course he wanted to claim it wasn’t their fault. Of course he wasn’t going to allow even the tiniest hint of guilt to creep in. That way would lie ruin.

She knew what she had to do.

‘What are you doing now?’ she asked.

‘I’m about to head to Verity’s. She’s cooking supper.’

‘Does she know?’

‘Of course not.’