And then came Madison Miller, and all she could do was think.

19.

Alexa

Alexa parked on Pleasant Street, in front of an old-fashioned Buick that Peter would have liked. He would have known the make and the model and announced it to them all, and they all would have ignored him because that was just Peter being Peter. And now he was gone, and they would have done anything to be able to indulge his interest in old-fashioned cars.

She made her way to the Coffee Factory, which was attached to the Book Rack. Newburyport had settled into its summer self. Sidewalk tables were out in full force. There were dogs on leashes and people who looked familiar to Alexa and also people she’d never seen before, which meant they were likely day-trippers from Boston on their way up 95, with stops planned in Portsmouth and at the Kittery outlets and for lobster rolls and ice cream cones. She saw her tenth-grade geometry teacher heading out of the bank, and Hunter Hayden, who’d been in her psych class senior year, coming out of Richdale.

At the coffee shop she waited in line to place her order. While she was waiting, she checked her e-mail on her phone. The only thing in her in-box was an e-mail from Amazon, which wanted her to rate her recent experience with the Chantecaille mascara she’d purchased. Alexa’s mother would freak out if she knew Alexa had spent seventy-two dollars on mascara she’d used once before giving it to Morgan, who was not allowed to wear makeup, but Alexa’s mother didn’t know just how much her videos had earned her.

Alexa Thornhill, will you rate the seller? begged the e-mail.

Alexa took her cortado to one of the outside tables and sat, considering her short-term future. The next day Tyler would be leaving with his family to spend three and a half weeks at his grandmother’s house on the shores of Silver Lake in Michigan, as he did every summer. Last summer, when they had just begun dating, Alexa missed Tyler desperately. Now she was sort of looking forward to his absence. Honestly, she would be mostly okay if Tyler met some wonderful Michigan girl this summer and fell in love with her. That would take so much pressure off Alexa. She’d have to pretend to be upset, etc., but she could pull that off.

She was supposed to see him that night. She knew what Tyler was hoping for, as a “good-bye” present, as he had referred to it. She’d been avoiding the topic; she felt like she should be ready to have sex with Tyler, and yet something was stopping her.