"Rae called. I should have..." His eyes stung, but no way was he going to cry. He waited until the feeling passed. "I should have answered the phone with, 'They have me. Run.'" But I thought they'd just figure out I'd been lying and try to get me to tell where she was. I never imagined she'd give herself away. When she did, I should have warned her."

"But there was a reason you didn't."

He could still feel the gun pressed to his temple. All his thoughts about being ready to die had come to that moment, and he hadn't had the courage to go through with it. "I was afraid." At least he didn't have to look at her as he admitted this most shameful moment of his life. He might never be able to look at her again.

Marisa reached across the truck and touched his hand, which had a death grip on the steering wheel. He looked down, saw her hand there, palm up. An invitation. He considered ignoring it, wanted to ignore it. But he cared too much for her to hurt her. He took her hand.

"We're all afraid, Nate. That's what it means to be human."

"I should have protected her."

"But she's all right. It worked out."

"No thanks to me."

"What happened?"

He sighed. "The rest is really her story to tell."

A few moments passed, and he hoped the conversation was over. Marisa scooted closer. "How long did they have you?"

"About thirty-two hours."

"A long time."

"Nothing, really. Think of POWs and what they have to endure. My situation was nothing like that. And still I couldn't hold out."

"You didn't tell them where she was."

"Eventually, I did. He threatened to kill my family, and at that point, I couldn't figure out what the point was in not telling them. They knew the town she was in; it was just a matter of time before they figured out her real name and where she lived. I didn't want them hunting down my parents or my brother to get the information."

"They put you in an impossible position, Nate. You did the right thing. The only thing."

"You say that because Rae and Johnny survived. If they'd died..."

"But they didn't. And Rae and Brady obviously feel very differently about what happened, based on the things they've said to you. And to me about you."

"Rae blames herself for what I went through. I wish she wouldn't. She didn't have any control over the situation."

"And you did?"

He didn't answer. He knew what Marisa would say, the same thing his therapist said, the same thing Rae and Brady and Sam had said so many times. He hadn't had any control. Maybe it was easier for the rest of them to say it, but to realize the truth of it? That was a whole different ballgame.