He took another deep breath. "Rae married a guy who turned out to be an arms dealer, part of an international crime family that makes our local gang activity look like child's play. She didn't know what he did for a living. He'd lied to her about everything, but..." He forced a breath. So far, so good. "A lot of this story is hers. I'll only tell you my part in it. Before I go on though, this isn't something I'm really supposed to talk about outside of therapy. It's all hush-hush, which means you have to keep it to yourself."

"You can trust me with your secrets."

He nodded once. "After Johnny was born, she left the guy and went back to Nutfield to hide. I was the only person he'd met from her past, so he..."

Nate paused, swallowed, and loosened his grip on the steering wheel. He took a deep breath and willed his voice to stay steady.

"He and his bodyguard grabbed me. And there was a woman, too. They stuffed me in the trunk of a car and took me to a hotel room in Connecticut."

"Oh, my God."

"The guard was..." She didn't need the details. "I knew where Rae was, but I refused to tell them."

"Did they hurt you?"

He nodded.

"Did you escape?"

If only he'd had the courage. "The guard was working against Rae's husband. Julien found out and shot him. Twice." Nate swallowed the nausea that always rose with the memory. "I watched it happen."

He focused on the road, the white lines whizzing by on each side, the sedans and minivans and SUVs and eighteen-wheelers all around him. It was a normal day, and he was surrounded by normal people. He was safe.

"That must have been terrifying," Marisa said.

"I just thought... You're in that situation, and you think, this is how I'm going to die. Just like that. And you start to wonder about inconsequential stuff, like will I soil my shorts? Will it hurt when the bullet enters my brain, or will I die instantly? Should I try to run and get shot in the back instead? At first, I kept trying to figure out how to get away, but there were three of them, just one of me, and they had the guns. The woman was adept at tying my ropes. And then I was badly beaten, I couldn't imagine how I could ever get out of the ropes, much less fight to get away. After a while, I don't know. You just decide, whatever. I guess I'll die."

"Oh, Nate."

"I got angry. I thought, screw 'em. They're going to kill me anyway. I'm not telling them anything."

"But everybody breaks. That's what they say on TV, anyway."

He nearly smiled. "Yeah. I would have, eventually."

"But you didn't?"