She doesn’t reply, so I bend my head and take her mouth in a deep, slow kiss, comforting her the only way I know how.

14

Nora

I’m losing myself. Slowly and surely, I’m being drawn into Julian’s dark orbit, sucked in by the twisted morass that is this estate.

I’ve known this for a while, of course. I’ve been observing my own transformation with a kind of distant horror and curiosity. Things that once seemed abhorrent to me are now part of my everyday life. Murder, torture, illegal arms dealing—intellectually, I still condemn it all, but it no longer bothers me as it once did. My moral compass has been gradually tilting off-course, and I’ve been letting it happen.

I’ve been letting Julian’s world change me without so much as putting up a fight.

Even before I knew what the blond girl had done, her plight didn’t affect me on any kind of deep emotional level. Like Rosa, I had been morbidly curious rather than appalled. And now that I know she’s the interpreter who nearly killed Julian, the hatred surging through my veins leaves little room for pity. I understand that it’s wrong to let Lucas punish her in this manner, but I don’t feel the wrongness of it.

I want her to suffer, to pay for the agony she put us through.

The fact that I can think at all right now, much less analyze my disconcerting emotions, is bizarre. I’m in the shower, and Julian is kissing me, drugging my senses with his touch. His hands are cradling my face, and my body is responding to him as always, the warm water sluicing over my skin adding to the burning heat within me. My thoughts, however, are cold and clear. There’s only one solution I can see, only one way I can attempt to salvage what remains of my soul.

I have to get away.

Not permanently. Not forever. But I have to leave, even if it’s just for a couple of weeks. I need to regain my sense of perspective, re-immerse myself in the world outside our compound.

If not for my own sake, then for the tiny life I’m carrying.

“Julian…” My voice shakes when he finally releases my lips and slides one hand down my back, making my sex pulse with need. “Julian, I want to go home.”

He stops abruptly and lifts his head, still holding me against him. His gaze hardens, the heat of desire morphing into something cold and menacing. “You are home.”

“I want to see my parents,” I insist, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. With Julian’s powerful body surrounding me and the steam from the shower fogging up the stall, I feel like I’m trapped in a bubble of naked flesh and lust. My body clamors for his touch, but my mind screams that I can’t give in. Not with so much at stake.

A muscle starts ticking in his jaw. “I told you I’ll take you at some point. But not now. Not in your condition.”