“Good. Now straddle me.”

Biting my lip, I climb onto the bed, straddling Julian’s hips. His cock brushes against the inside of my thighs, and I grasp it in my right hand, guiding it toward my aching entrance.

“Yes, that’s it,” he mutters, reaching out to grip my hip as I begin to lower myself onto his shaft. Releasing his cock, I use my palms to brace myself on the bed, and he groans, “Yes, take me in, my pet… All the way…” Using his grip on my hip, he pushes me lower, forcing his cock deeper into me, and I moan at the exquisite stretching sensation, my body adjusting to being filled and penetrated by his thick length.

It feels like the sweetest of reliefs, the pleasure-pain of his possession acute and achingly familiar all at once. As I watch him, drinking in the look of tormented pleasure on his face, it suddenly dawns on me that this could just as easily not be happening—that instead of lying underneath me, Julian could be six feet underground, his powerful body mangled and destroyed.

I am not cognizant of having made any sounds, but I must have, because Julian’s eye narrows, his hand tightening on my hip. “What is it, baby?” he asks sharply, and I realize that I’ve begun to shake, chills wracking my body at the image of him lying there cold and broken. My desire evaporates, replaced by remembered terror and dread. It’s as if I’ve been doused with ice water, the horror of what we’ve been through bubbling up and choking me from within.

“Nora, what is it?” Julian’s hand slides up to my throat, gripping the nape of my neck to bring my face closer to his. His eye bores into me as my hands clutch convulsively at the sheets on each side of his chest. “What is it? Tell me!”

I want to explain, but I can’t speak, my throat closing up as my heartbeat spikes, cold sweat drenching my body. All of a sudden, I can’t breathe, toxic panic clawing at my chest and constricting my lungs, and I begin to hyperventilate as black dots encroach on the edges of my vision.

“Nora!” Julian’s voice reaches me as if from afar. “Fuck… Nora!”

A stinging blow across my face snaps my head to the side, and I gasp, my hand flying up to cradle my left cheek. The shock of pain startles me out of my panic, and my lungs finally begin working, my chest expanding to let in much-needed air. Panting, I turn my head to stare incredulously at Julian, the darkness in my mind receding as reality pushes back in.

“Nora, baby…” He’s gently rubbing my cheek now, soothing the pain he inflicted. “I’m so sorry, my pet. I didn’t want to slap you, but you looked like you were having a panic attack. What happened? Do you want me to call for a nurse?”

“No—” My voice breaks as sobs rise up, bursting out of my throat. Tears begin to flow down my face as I realize that I completely freaked out—and that it happened during sex. Julian’s cock is still buried inside me, only slightly softer than before, and yet I am shaking and crying, like a crazy person. “No,” I repeat in a choked voice. “I’m all right… Really, I’ll be fine…”