“Okay, you got me,” I concede, laughing. “Now what?”

“Now this.” Bending his head, he kisses me, the warmth from his large body counteracting the coolness of the water.

As his tongue invades my mouth, I tense involuntarily, memories of last night surfacing with sudden clarity. For a few dark moments, I relive the terrible feeling of helplessness, of painful betrayal, and I know I wasn’t entirely successful at compartmentalizing the good and the bad. As much as I’d like to pretend that today is a day like any other, it’s not, and no amount of playful laughter changes the fact that the evil in Julian’s soul will never be completely eradicated.

That the monster will always lie in wait.

And yet, as he continues kissing me, the heat of desire grows within me, luring me under its spell. He’s tender with me now, and my body softens, basking in that tenderness, in the insidious warmth of his embrace. I want to believe in the illusion of his caring, in the mirage of his twisted love, and so I let the dark memories fade, leaving me in the brighter present.

Leaving me with the man I love.

9

Julian

Nora and I end up swimming and playing in the pool until Ana comes looking for us, saying that lunch is ready. By then I’m starving, and I’m guessing Nora must be hungry as well. I’m also suffering from blue balls from all that making out, but that’s something that will have to wait until later.

I want Nora to eat even more than I want to fuck her.

Seeing my pet like this—so happy, vibrant, and carefree—has gone a long way toward easing the heavy pressure in my chest, but it hasn’t removed it completely. The look on her face after I took her… It haunts me, invading my thoughts despite my best efforts to put it out of my mind. I know I’ve done worse to her in the past, but something about last night felt worse.

It felt like I wronged her.

Perhaps it’s because she’s now completely mine. I no longer have to condition her, to mold her into what I need her to be. She loves me enough to risk her life for me, enough to want to be with me of her own free will. Everything I’ve done to her in the past was calculated to a certain extent, but last night I hurt her without meaning to.

I hurt her when all I wanted was to hold her, heal her.

I hurt the woman who’s carrying my child—and even if Nora seems to have forgiven me for that, I can’t forgive myself.

“What can I get for you, Nora?” Ana asks when we’re seated at the dining room table. The older woman is beaming at my wife, as happy as I’ve ever seen her. “Some toast? Maybe a little plain rice?”

Nora’s eyes widen at the housekeeper’s words, but she manages to say calmly, “I’ll have whatever you prepared, Ana. I’m better today, really.”