I experience a sudden flash of intuition. “It’s the morning-after pill, isn’t it? Are you upset because I took it?”

“Upset? Because you don’t want a child with me?” He laughs, but there is a harshness to the sound that twists my stomach into knots. “No, my pet, I’m not upset. I would make an awful father, and I know it.”

I stare at him, trying to understand why his words are making me feel guilty. He’s a killer and a sadist, a man who ruthlessly abducted me and kept me captive, and yet I feel bad—as if I inadvertently hurt him.

As if I truly did something wrong.

“Julian…” I don’t know what to say. I can’t lie that he would make a good father. He would see right through me. So instead I ask cautiously, “Do you want to have children?”

Then I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

He looks at me, his expression unreadable once more. “No, Nora,” he says quietly. “The last thing you and I need are children. You can have all the birth control implants you want. I won’t force you to get pregnant.”

I exhale in sharp relief. “Okay, good. So then why—”

Before I can conclude the question, Julian rises to his feet, signaling an end to our discussion. “I’ll be in the main cabin,” he says evenly. “I have some work to do. Come join me when you get dressed.”

And with that, he disappears from the room, leaving me lying in bed naked and confused.

3

Julian

I’m in the middle of reviewing my portfolio manager’s write-up on a potential investment when Nora quietly takes her seat next to me. Unable to resist the lure of her presence, I turn to look at her, watching as she begins reading her book.

Now that I’ve had a few minutes apart from her, the irrational need to lash out and hurt her is gone. In its place is an inexplicable sadness… an odd and unexpected sense of loss.

I don’t understand this. I didn’t lie to Nora when I said I don’t want children. I’ve never given the subject much thought, but now that I’m considering it, I can’t even imagine being a father. What would I do with a child? It would be just one more weakness for my enemies to exploit. I have no interest in babies, nor do I know how to raise them. My parents certainly weren’t role models in that regard. I should’ve been glad that Nora doesn’t want kids, but instead, when she brought up the morning-after pill, it felt like a kick to the gut.

Like a rejection of the worst kind.

I had been trying not to think about it, but seeing her wipe my seed off her thighs brought back those unwelcome emotions, reminded me that she doesn’t want this from me.

That she’ll never want this from me.

I don’t understand why that matters. I never planned to start a family with Nora. Marriage had been a way to cement our bond, nothing more. She’s my pet… my obsession and my possession. She loves me because I’ve made her love me, and I want her because she’s necessary to my existence. Children are not a part of this dynamic.